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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Edge of the World's LiveJournal:

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Friday, November 3rd, 2006
9:47 am
[brthrn]
entry Regular John
The Magus—3 of Cups: Abundance—Knight of Cups
The Tower—The Chariot—3 of Wands: Virtue
Death—4 of Disks: Power—The Hermit



THE MAGUS


"This card therefore represents the Wisdom, the Will, the Word, the Logos by whom the worlds were created. (See the Gospel according to St. John, chapter I.) It represents the Will. In brief, he is the Son, the manifestation in act of the idea of the Father. He is the male correlative of the High Priestess. Let there be no confusion here on account of the fundamental doctrine of the Sun and Moon as the Second Harmonics to the Lingam and the Yoni; for... the creative Mercury is of the nature of the Sun. But Mercury is the Path leading from Kether to Binah, the Understanding; and thus He is the messenger of the gods, represents precisely that Lingam, the Word of creation whose speech is silence.

"Logically also, being the Word, he is the law of reason or of necessity or chance, which is the secret meaning of the Word, which is the essence of the Word, and the condition of its utterance. This being so, and especially because he is duality, he represents both truth and falsehood, wisdom and folly. Being the unexpected, he unsettles any established idea, and therefore appears tricky. He has no conscience, being creative. If he cannot attain his ends by fair means, he does it by foul. The legends of the youthful Mercury are therefore legends of cunning. He cannot be understood, because he is the Unconscious Will. His position on the Tree of Life shows the third Sephira, Binah, Understanding, as not yet formulated; still less the false Sephira, Da'ath, knowledge.

"From above it will appear that this card is the second emanation from the Crown, and therefore, in a sense, the adult form of the first emanation, the Fool, whose letter is Aleph, the Unity. These ideas are so subtle and so tenuous, on these exalted planes of thought, that definition is impossible. It is not even desirable, because it is the nature of these ideas to flow one into the other. One cannot do more than say that any given hieroglyph represents a slight insistence upon some particular form of a pantomorphous idea. In this card, the emphasis is upon the creative and dualistic character of the path of Beth.

"In the traditional card the disguise is that of a Juggler.

"Yet no true image is possible at all; for, firstly, all images are necessarily false as such; and, secondly, the motion being perpetual, and its rate that of the limit, c, the rate of Light, any stasis contradicts the idea of the card: this picture is, therefore, hardly more than mnemonic jottings..."



ABUNDANCE


"This card refers to Binah in the suit of Water. This is the card of Demeter or Persephone. The Cups are pomegranates: they are filled bountifully to overflowing from a single lotus, arising from the dark calm sea characteristic of Binah. There is here the fulfilment of the Will of Love in abounding joy. It is the spiritual basis of fertility.

"At the same time, the combination of these forms of energy brings in the possibility of somewhat mysterious ideas. Binah, the Great Sea, is the Moon in one aspect, but Saturn in another; and Mercury, besides being the Word or Will of the All-One, is the guide of the souls of the Dead. This card requires great subtlety of interpretation. The pomegranate was the fruit which Persephone ate in the realms of Pluto, thereby enabling him to hold her in the lower world, even after the most powerful influence had been brought to bear. The lesson seems to be that the good things of life, although enjoyed, should be distrusted."


KNIGHT OF CUPS


"The Knight of Cups represents the fiery part of Water, the swift passionate attack of rain and springs; more intimately, Water's power of solution.…His totem is the peacock, for one of the stigmata of water in its most active form is brilliance. There is here also some reference to the phenomena of fluorescence.

"The characteristics of the person signified by this card are nevertheless mostly passive, in accordance with the Zodiacal attribution. He is graceful, dilettante, with the qualities of Venus, or a weak Jupiter. He is amiable in a passive way. He is quick to respond to attraction, and easily becomes enthusiastic under such stimulus; but he is not very enduring. He is exceedingly sensitive to external influence, but with no material depth in his character.

"Swiftness and violence ill suit a character naturally placid; it is rare indeed to meet with a person who has succeeded in harmonizing these conflicting elements. He tends to mismanage all his affairs; and unless sheer good fortune attend him, his whole career will be an unbroken record of failure or melancholy madness. The abuse of stimulants and narcotics may precipitate the catastrophe."



THE TOWER


"This card is attributed to the letter Pé, which means a mouth; it refers to the planet Mars. In its simplest interpretation it refers to the manifestation of cosmic energy in its grossest form. The picture shows the destruction of existing material by fire.

"At the bottom part of the card, therefore, is shown the destruction of the old-established Aeon by lightning, flames, engines of war. In the right-hand corner are the jaws of Dis, belching flame at the root of the structure. Falling from the tower are broken figures of the garrison. It will be noticed that they have lost their human shape. They have become mere geometrical expressions.

"Briefly, the doctrine is that the ultimate reality (which is Perfection) is Nothingness. Hence all manifestations, however glorious, however delightful, are stains. To obtain perfection, all existing things must be annihilated. The destruction of the garrison may therefore be taken to mean their emancipation from the prison of organized life, which was confining them. It was their unwisdom to cling to it.

"The dominating feature of this card is the Eye of Horus. This is also the Eye of Shiva, on the opening of which, according to the legend of this cult, the Universe is destroyed.

"This becomes clear as soon as life and death are understood … as phases of a single manifestation of energy."


THE CHARIOT


"The canopy of the Chariot is the night-sky-blue of Binah. The pillars are the four pillars of the Universe, the regimen of Tetragrammaton. The scarlet wheels represent the original energy of Geburah which causes the revolving motion.

"This chariot is drawn by four sphinxes composed of the four Kerubs, the Bull, the Lion, the Eagle and the Man. In each sphinx these elements are counter-changed; thus the whole represents the sixteen sub-elements.

"The Charioteer is clothed in amber-coloured armour appropriate to the sign. He is throned in the chariot rather than conducting it, because the whole system of progression is perfectly balanced. His only function is to bear the Holy Grail.

"Upon his armor are ten Stars of Assiah, the inheritance of celestial dew from his mother.

"He bears as a crest the Crab appropriate to the sign. The vizor of his helmet is lowered, for no man may look upon his face and live. For the same reason, no part of his body is exposed.

"The central and most important feature of the card is its centre—the Holy Grail. It is of pure amethyst, of the colour of Jupiter, but its shape suggests the full moon and the Great Sea of Binah.

"In the centre is radiant blood; the spiritual life is inferred; light in the darkness. These rays, moreover, revolve, emphasizing the Jupiterian element in the symbol."


VIRTUE


"This card refers to Binah in the suit of Fire, and so represents the establishment of primeval Energy. The Will has been transmitted to the Mother, who conceives, prepares, and gives birth to, its manifestation.

"It refers to the Sun in Aries, the Sign in which he is exalted.

"The meaning is harmonious, for this is the beginning of Spring. For this reason one sees the wand taking the form of the Lotus in blossom. The Sun has enkindled the Great Mother.

"In the Yi King, Sol in Aries is represented by the IIth hexagram, Thai; its meaning is identical with the above description."




DEATH


"In alchemy, this card explains the idea of putrefaction, the technical name given by its adepts to the series of chemical changes which develops the final form of life from the original latent seed in the Orphic egg.

"The card itself represents the dance of death; the figure is a skeleton bearing a scythe, and both the skeleton and the scythe are importantly Saturnian symbols. ...Saturn represents the essential structure of existing things. He is that elemental nature of things which is not destroyed by the ordinary changes which occur in the operations of Nature. Furthermore, he is crowned with the crown of Osiris; he represents Osiris in the waters of Amennti. Yet more, he is the original secret male creative God: see Atu XV. 'Redeunt Saturnia regna.' It was only the corruption of the Tradition, the confusion with Set, and the Cult of the Dying God, misunderstood, deformed and distorted by the Black Lodge, that turned him into a senile and fiendish symbol

"In this card the symbol of the fish is paramount; the fish (Il-pesce, as they call him in Naples and many other places) and the serpent are the two principal objects of worship in cults which taught the doctrines of resurrection or re-incarnation. Thus we have Oannes and Dagon, fish gods, in western Asia; in many other parts of the world are similar cults. Even Christianity, Christ was represented as a fish. The Greek work IXThUS, 'which means fish And very aptly symbolizes Christ', as Browning reminds one, was supposed to be a notariqon, the initials of a sentence meaning 'Jesus Christ Son of God, Saviour'. Nor is it an accident that St. Peter was a fisherman. The Gospels, too, are full of miracles involving fish, and the fish is sacred to Mercury, because of its cold-bloodedness, its swiftness and its brilliance. There is moreover the sexual symbolism. This again recalls the function of Mercury as the guide of the dead, and as the continuing elastic element in nature.

"This card must then be considered as of greater importance and catholicity than would be expected from the plain Zodiacal attribution. It is even a compendium of universal energy in its most secret form."


POWER


"The Four, Chesed, shows the establishment of the Universe in three dimensions, that is, below the Abyss. The generating idea is exhibited in its full material sense. The card is ruled by the Sun in Capricornus, the Sign in which he is reborn. The disks are very large and solid; the suggestion of the card is that of a fortress. This represents Law and Order, maintained by constant authority and vigilance. The disks themselves are square; revolution is very opposite to the card; and they contain the signs of the Four Elements. For all that, they revolved; defence is valid only when violently active. So far as it appears stationary, it is the "dead centre" of the engineer; and Capricornus is the point at which the Sun "turns again Northward". The background is of deep azure, flecked yellow, suggesting a moat; but beyond this is a pattern of green and indigo to represent the guarded fields whose security is assured by the fortress."


HERMIT


"This card is attributed to the letter Yod, which means the Hand. Hence, the hand, which is the tool or instrument par excellence, is in the centre of the picture. The letter Yod is the foundation of all the other letters of the Hebrew alphabet, which are merely combinations of it in various ways.

"The letter Yod is the first letter of the name Tetragrammaton, and this symbolizes the Father, who is Wisdom; he is the highest form of Mercury, and the Logos, the Creator of all worlds. Accordingly, his representitive in physical life is the spermatozoon; this is why the card is called The Hermit.

"The highest symbolism of this card is, therefore, Fertility in its most exalted sense, and this is reflected in the attribution of the card to the sign of Virgo, which is another aspect of the same quality. Virgo is an earthy sign, and is referred especially to Corn, so that the background of the card is a field of wheat.

"Virgo represents the lowest, most receptive, most feminine form of earth, and forms the crust over Hades. Yet not only is Virgo ruled by Mercury, but Mercury is exalted therein. Compare the Ten of Disks, and the general doctrine that the climax of the Descent into Matter is the signal for the redintegration by Spirit. It is the Formula of the Princess, the mode of fulfilment of the Great Work.

"This card recalls the Legend of Persephone, and herein is a dogma. Concealed within Mecury is a light which pervades all parts of the Universe equally; one of his titles is Psychopompos, the guide of the soul through the lower regions. …There is perfect Identity, not merely Equivalence, of the Extremes, the Manifestation, and the Method."


All card descriptions by Aleister Crowley from The Book of Thoth.








Harsh Stone White 4:29 Skinny Puppy VIVIsectVI Electronica/Dance 84 10/26/06 11:02 AM









, deep in thought, E.B. WHITE, Charlotte's Web d so, a long time; long enough for my fingers die out of the deep red per red.

loves.

OBSERVATIONS ength, in a breathless voice, "have"

tices in their guild; all know," said I, wresting my hand away. I expect I can get all of us there you."

the first thread is laid.

strained by the pain in his cheek Harriet in a miserable rush, FABRE, The Life of the Spider you won't be able to help it. Isn't R cluster, 6000-4.31 Nine-light with daylight colors hard of hearing; she glanced Molepar. (Cour-temperature. MOlequartz Molefay. ough," said I, "that I despise you. Id to speak more loudly and dis-n" of France, wrote affection-ardson Co.)

(Courtesy of Mole-Richardson Co., inly, that I do. What should I dread ider in his garden at Serignan Hollywood, Calif., U.S.A.)

ut you? What else do you ever do?" aid you'll have to slow down a lit-s allusion to the considerations that Among FAY lamp clusters "nine-lights" are the my communications with him. I ew that works for them," said most popular in daylight use, but HMI lamps are low, nor the allusion, would have hest, "She's leaving, and Harriet back to last year; her majestic taking their place because they are more power-effi-ce I had had from Agnes that night. t things change, and that people is season [July], proclaims thecient and cooler in use.

the world is."

epeira [Araneus angulatus].

Compact lights are designed to meet the varied use. His eyes, as he looked at me, sympathy, she gazed at Harriet. at a convenient height for ob-demands of location work. Not as "punching" as the colour that could make eyes ugly. "You'll miss Ida, I know you will, PAR lamps, these open reflector quartz lights have a ving his hand from his cheek, "you quality. The largest, a 2,000-watt unit like the Mighy long time."

Mole (Mole-Richardson Company) is a favorite of ild loves Ida! You love Ida, don't ever; at no time 2. not at all; in no case

"the way that I love Odean."

nevermore never again

never-never land an unreal or imaginary place or situa-es at each other, and Edie said: tion

The Red G nevertheless in spite of that; h, Lib." Odean's laziness was an however

nevus a coloreds; she sat around th house, sup-spot on the skin; birthmark or mole

new 1. appearing, thought of, dis-brought her cold drinks and di "I don't know about smart but covered, made, etc. for the first time 2. a) different [a WILDERNESS OF DREAMING new hardo] b) strange; unfamiliar 3. more or most recent and back in one piece."

of two or more things of the same class [the new library] 4. recently grown; fresh [new potatoes] 5. not previously "Libby, Ida Rhew quit," saiused or worn 6. mordern; recent 7. more; additional 8. startinga s a repetition of a cycle, series, etc. [the new "she's leaving town—"

year] 9. having just reached a position, rank, place, etc. er the TV or the movie. I [a new arrival] 1. again. 2. newly; recently "Quit?" asked Libby, who w something new (with the) haracters.

imploringly at Edith, who tende Newark city in NE N.J.; pop. 382,000 (met. area 1,857,000)

ot when he was describing tinctly than most people. "I'm afr New Bedford seaport in SE Mass.: pop. 102,000

d. She turns to the dreamer. tle, Harriet."

new blood new people as a potential source of fresh ideas, renewed vigor, etc.

them in the golf cart get-"She's talking about Ida Rh newborn 1. recnetly born 2. reborn

New Brunswick province of SE Cananda: he holocaust for some rea-Edie, folding her arms over her c 28,354 sq. mi.; pop 617,000; cap. Federicton: abbrev. N.B.

is upset about it. I've told her that tha Newcastle seaport in N England: pop. 254,000; in full Newcastle-up on-Tyne —image of the holocaust," I move on, and that's just the way carry coals to Newcastle to do what is superfluous or un-needed

w his close relationship to Libby's face fell. With candid newcomer a recent arrival

New Deal the principles and policies adopted by Presi-rivate with the dreamer, so "Oh, that's too bad," said Tat. dent F.D. Roosevelt in the 1930's to advance economic recovery and social welfare

l in public. I wait.

sweetheart, she's been with you a New Delhi capital of India, adjacent to Delhi: pop. 261,000

tells us. "He's dying. And I "Ah," said Libby, "but this ch newel 1. the upright pil-lar around which the steps of a winding staircase turn 2. Yes, that holocaust image is you darling," she said to Harriet, the post at the top or bottom of a flight of stairs, sup-Tat and Edie rolled their eyporting the handrail: also newel post

"You love Odean a little too mucfat, ape, car; ten, even; is, bite, go, horn, tool, look; oil, s perceptibly. Matters have ' as in able; e, Fr. coeur; o, Fr. feu; Fr. mon; u, Fr. old, old joke among Liggy's sister AIDS often begins in a posedly in ill-health whil Libb hin air" in the traditional What you done to that boy Mine, for thELTER 7 Lady Archibald Camp-this afternoon.

thith tim man and wife, in Ireland, fair fighing you. I'm sorry I haven't nd held it prisoner two No end epressed, and maybe I just to my awful I was you way from everything that… consider all these cases as crimes.

I'd cheat at all," she said quietly.

ng the thousands, the hun-Well, I like Hell, me, so I didn't say anything. reports from all ages and guess I oughtta Donny.

let you two heroes An' the Abominable Snowman in on what's in shut," she said, explaining why store for up.

nged creatures of a thou-you.

ark company of unearthly t you're coming into my life y of forms in which the aving me. Everything hurts ifest to human conscious-t to do about it. So I'm going een the visible and invisi-be from everything, in ordery ripped and They comeering and tittering froms if it were my turn to talk, bering too his own experi-o of Them, the bisexualo say anything.

she said, even though she'd 29 CHORUS self 94 pest stone dungeon Undoing Yourself locked Above all do not escape your ansainswers with guilt, shame or cliches. Yet another experiment will prove to you how much of what you feel is unrelated to the person/place/condition/or thing you relate to. In the same manner as in the prsoners evrious experiments, look at the following questions and appy them—Marat/Sade

to various conditions in your life.

This person disturbs/enthralls me Sade has never been understood. He because This place enthralls/disturbs me bm of being a forerunner of Hitler. Heecause This condition disturbs/enthralls ent, and we attribute brutality to him. me because This thing enthralls/disturbs me be project every viciousness onto him. ecause him, we Hiroshima-makers.

irror and we have screamed for 150

n his actual words:

d "few" (Sade, p. 310).

ty of capital punishment" (Sade, p. 310).

LIMITED SUPPLY PHILOSOPHY 214 JOHN A. 5. Many of the most ce absurd on the face of United States. The messages thy recovered memory th sages of the godlike UFO creatuthe Radical Feminists warn of impending doom and urstantly assuring us the before it is too late. Another chae way or another the majority of with the UFO types is their pend, whether directly or indirectly, teenth and twenty-fourth of the m Despite these telling crchinch has pervaded the Earth for Yugoslavia, who received exterecovered memory therape book? Does he live what he preaches? What before the outbreak of the genocitinue to remember horribrsonality? Would you like to meet him? What June 24, 1981.

nibalistic rituals, and extmarried?)millenia.

It can all get very confusing. In See also: the greys are the subjects of a lite as vast as the fairy lore of the M Daimonic Reality, Demonic meaningless. None of it is new. A Satanic Panic, UFO/Satatigated a classic case in the 1890s Reference: had a long series of experiences Making Monsters: False Me the core fo the book From India t by Richard Ofshe and Eth 1900. Today Helene would be c Berkely and Los Angeles

LA

ghostly as well as carnal at-it is well. Now, Madam Mina, re until sunset; and before shall return! But before we go ersonal attack. I have myself, our chamber by the placing of He may not enter. Now let me I touch this piece of Sacred CRIME & P he Son, and——"

ich almost froze our hearts to The penalty for laughing in aer on Mina's forehead, it had flesh as though it had been a in jail; if it were not for this or darling's brain had told her never hear the evidence.

ckly as her nerves received theerwhelmed her that her over-that dreadful scream. But the Of course, from what you alrealy; the echo of the scream had could reasonably expect that I "Death onen there came the reaction, and right?

the roads."

oor in an agony of abasement. 13 her face, as the leper of old his I was finally arrested in Yell heartily recommend the experience e Almighty shuns my polluted quick way to learn how fast a reshame upon my forehead until paused. I had thrown myself "my Self and my World" — can c Yellow springs had a barge she than to ecstasy a reasonable name since the ownehorn madness.

barber shop was segregated—asutting his g the country were segregated whed pretend 1964 however most of the oth The phone rang, I ran ov








Atomic Power ('91 Acoustic Demo) 1:35 Uncle Tupelo March 16-20, 1992 (Expanded Edition) Country 87 10/13/06 6:21 AM
Tuesday, October 31st, 2006
9:06 pm
[brthrn]
entry Heartland
Ace of Disks—4 of Swords: Truce
Princess of Swords—Death
3 of Disks: Works—6 of Wands: Victory
4 of Cups: Luxury—6 of Disks: Success




ACE OF DISKS


"The Ace of Disks pictures the entry of that type of Energy which is called Earth.

"This green is, however, not the original vegetable green of Isis, but the new green of spring following the resurrection of Osiris as Horus.

"This thesis dovetails perfectly with the new Doctrine of Tetragrammaton, where the Earthy component, Hé final, the Daughter, is set upon the Throne of the Mother, to awaken the Eld of the All-Father. The NAME itself, accordingly, is no longer a fixed symbol, emblem of extension and limit, but a continuously revolving sphere; in the words of Zoroaster, 'rebounding, whirling forth, crying aloud'.

"About this whirling Disk are its six Wings; the entire symbol is not only a glyph of Earth as understood in this New Aeon of Horus, but of the number 6, the number of the Sun. This card is thus an affirmation of the identity of Sol and Terra—and that will be the best understood by those who have punctually practised Liber Resh for the necessary number of years, preferably in such Hermitages as those of the Sahara Desert, where the Sun and the Earth can soon be instinctively recognized as living Beings, one's constant companions in a Universe of Pure Joy."


TRUCE


"It is the establishment of dogma, and law concerning it. It represents a refuge from mental chaos, chosen in an arbitrary manner. It argues for convention.

"Minds too indolent or too cowardly to think out their own problems hail joyfully this policy of appeasement. As always, the Four is the term; as in this case there is no true justification for repose, its disturbance by the Five holds no promise of advance; its static shams go pell-mell into the melting pot; the issue is mere mess, usually signalized by foetid stench. But it has to be done!"



PRINCESS OF SWORDS


"She represents to some extent the anger of the Gods, and she appears helmed, with serpent-haired Medusa for her crest. She stands in front of a barren altar as if to avenge its profanation, and she stabs downward with her sword. The heaven and the clouds, which are her home, seem angry.

"The character of the Princess is stern and revengeful. Her logic is destructive. She is firm and aggressive, with great practical wisdom and subtlety in material things. She shews great cleverness and dexterity in the management of practical affairs, especially where they are of a controversial nature. She is very adroit in the settlement of controversies.

"The explanation is that a Princess as such, being 'the throne of Spirit', may always have the option of throwing everything overboard, 'blowing everything sky high'. ...Such people are exceedingly rare; and, naturally enough, they appear often as 'Children of misfortune'. Nevertheless they have chosen aright, and in due season gain their reward."


DEATH


"In alchemy, this card explains the idea of putrefaction, the technical name given by its adepts to the series of chemical changes which develops the final form of life from the original latent seed in the Orphic egg.

"The card itself represents the dance of death; the figure is a skeleton bearing a scythe, and both the skeleton and the scythe are importantly Saturnian symbols. ...Saturn represents the essential structure of existing things. He is that elemental nature of things which is not destroyed by the ordinary changes which occur in the operations of Nature. Furthermore, he is crowned with the crown of Osiris; he represents Osiris in the waters of Amennti. Yet more, he is the original secret male creative God: see Atu XV. 'Redeunt Saturnia regna.' It was only the corruption of the Tradition, the confusion with Set, and the Cult of the Dying God, misunderstood, deformed and distorted by the Black Lodge, that turned him into a senile and fiendish symbol

"In this card the symbol of the fish is paramount; the fish (Il-pesce, as they call him in Naples and many other places) and the serpent are the two principal objects of worship in cults which taught the doctrines of resurrection or re-incarnation. Thus we have Oannes and Dagon, fish gods, in western Asia; in many other parts of the world are similar cults. Even Christianity, Christ was represented as a fish. The Greek work IXThUS, 'which means fish And very aptly symbolizes Christ', as Browning reminds one, was supposed to be a notariqon, the initials of a sentence meaning 'Jesus Christ Son of God, Saviour'. Nor is it an accident that St. Peter was a fisherman. The Gospels, too, are full of miracles involving fish, and the fish is sacred to Mercury, because of its cold-bloodedness, its swiftness and its brilliance. There is moreover the sexual symbolism. This again recalls the function of Mercury as the guide of the dead, and as the continuing elastic element in nature.

"This card must then be considered as of greater importance and catholicity than would be expected from the plain Zodiacal attribution. It is even a compendium of universal energy in its most secret form."



WORKS


"The influence of Binah in the sphere of Earth shows the material establishment of the idea of the Universe, the determination of its basic form...

"The card represents a pyramid viewed from above the apex. The base is formed by three wheels—Mercury, Sulphur, and Salt; Sattvas, Rajas, and Tamas in the Hindu system; Aleph, Shin, and Mem—Air, Fire, and Water—the three Mother letters of the Hebrew alphabet."


VICTORY


"This card represents Tiphareth of the suit of Fire. This shows Energy in completely balanced manifestation. The Five has broken up the closed forces of the Four with revolutionary ardour, but a marriage has taken place between them; and the result is the Son, and the Sun.

"There is no circle to enclose the system. It is self-supporting, like the Sun."



LUXURY


"Here, below the Abyss, the energy of this element, although ordered, balanced and (for the moment) stabilized, has lost the original purity of the conception.

"This tends to introduce the seeds of decay into the fruit of pleasure.

"There is a certain parallelism between this card and the Geomantic figures Via and Popuus, which are attributed to the Moon in decrease and increase respectively. The link is primarily the 'Change=Stability' equation..."



SUCCESS


"The Number Six, Tiphareth, as before, represents the full harmonious establishment of the Energy of the Element. The Moon in Taurus rules the card; and this, while increasing the approach to perfection (for the Moon is exalted in Taurus and therefore in her highest form) marks that the condition is transient.

"This Sun is idolized as the Rose and Cross; the Rose has forty-nine petals, the interplay of the Seven with the Seven."


All card descriptions by Aleister Crowley from The Book of Thoth.








Mercyful Fate - The Beginning - 01 - Doomed By The Living Dead 5:10 12 10/14/06 5:50 AM









dioxide expelled will be (While resting it ranges fr INTRODUCTION to 5 cubic feet per hour Now it transpires that about the way it was fi id, sha higher the percentage o where the performance t Close study of the respira to the very end of Aesch the poet did not live to ell, than that a little time given da hand, the parodies in Aely concera special type would subs Birds, of 414 B.C.) leave out the who tion of the blood and Prometheus had been p physical and mental he know, in fact, that Aeshber of his father's unpub, in effect."

average man and woman his papers after his death remember a thi Not only is there failure in the Dionysiac compet cells, but the lungs thems well have been among th.. maybe that's best.' exercise.

tion, it is reasonable to e be so."

Here, then, was an op There will be a skene o side-wings, an actor-area i "So why don't you all get ouing those wings, extremities.

in front of the actor area. uis Bovary," Sada could have said (did of the Prometheus, our lines), "Je suis Justine." It is his voice Greek text itself. From t speeches, "Oh, monsters, is remorse precision (a) the points w undeniably, in the "Dialogue Between manner in which each pa EMERALDS simply, "Reason, sir—yes, our reason require some explanation our fellows can never bring happiness ebrated recovered memory cases are so eligion to subscrube to [it]" (Sade, p. 174). it that nobody would believe them if the ne phone and asked him, say, Man, did rd, that's all I've met of him. But you, v not what they did?

erapists did not have two support groups, ?"

he replied, "I made my position on and the Fundamentalist Christians, con-I could: 'You know that the princes of t this therapy is " scientific."

p in touch."

them, and they that are great exercise ot be so among you.'—Matt. 20:25. ashing a bit, her arms like oars rowing lf is brought to desolation.' —Matticisms, and others published elsewhere, ssness.

shall fall into a ditch.'—Matt. 15:14. y still has its devotees and patients con-ived here ever since? For five years? Do evous to be borne, and lay them upon will not move them with one of their le incidents of sexual abuse, Satanic/can-bbed his bare forearms as he tried to ind leaders of the blind, baby, and aterrestrial abduction.

be up to? "Are you associated with theonditioning lead them in little grooves ose defiant little humanitarian organi-Duck, Corrydon Hammond, MS. Magazine, nic Conspiracy

is or humanitarian, as it seems to me any, Claudio, you can't expect the most heinous crimes in nature."

And merging upward, sha keyboard, Christophine revemories, Psychotherapy, and Sexual Hysteria, "There, that's a clue for you, dear threshold of the elevator shaft an Watters, University of California Press, Magdala stood as if vitrifie, 1996

and give me an answer."


her in the fraction of a secon know where Devore got the notion preparing her, embalming her t I have no intention of allowing his than her dread had forecast.

zz off."

But for Christophine, appar Cannes 2002 deep dimples at the corners of his complished, despite her words After 12 days of screenings and parties, the 2002 Cannes It was not that she did anyt Film Festival wrapped up Sunday. Among the top entries: k like Woody Allen at all. He looked was as if she came to a stand Efficient & Efficienter (Germany) er who had sold his soul to the devil thing lifelike seemed to slide one yank the boss's forked tail. "Piece to some brittle frosted substa Please to Enjoy the HErring, Mother (Finland) you want to watch it. Max Devore is shatter, like her glass.

The iridescent blue neo Les Busters Des Ghosts (France) around."

blink would fracture them, a My Eccentric Ethnic Family and Our Sumptuous Traditional Dishes (U.S.) the foyer, holding the envelope and sprinkle the floor.

The Sombre Hombre (U.K.-Mexico) Estate. He looked pissed off and con-The Red Balloon in Breaking Training (France) e bum's rush just lately, I guessed. d. Lend a little perspective to his life. Turkish Batman (Turkey) no Max Devore, Richie Osgood would Grey, Grey, My Passion (Russia) et-seven. Even in Cowboy boots.








Sunspots In The House Of The Late Scapegoat 2:42 Modest Mouse The Fruit That Ate Itself Alternative & Punk 92 10/13/06 10:19 AM
Sunday, October 8th, 2006
10:12 am
[brthrn]
entry Flood II
3 of Cups: Abundance—3 of Swords: Sorrow—8 of Swords: Interference
5 of Cups: Disappointment—The Aeon—10 of Disks: Wealth
9 of Cups: Happiness—9 of Wands: Strength—The Tower



ABUNDANCE


"This card refers to Binah in the suit of Water. This is the card of Demeter or Persephone. The Cups are pomegranates: they are filled bountifully to overflowing from a single lotus, arising from the dark calm sea characteristic of Binah. There is here the fulfilment of the Will of Love in abounding joy. It is the spiritual basis of fertility.

"At the same time, the combination of these forms of energy brings in the possibility of somewhat mysterious ideas. Binah, the Great Sea, is the Moon in one aspect, but Saturn in another; and Mercury, besides being the Word or Will of the All-One, is the guide of the souls of the Dead. This card requires great subtlety of interpretation. The pomegranate was the fruit which Persephone ate in the realms of Pluto, thereby enabling him to hold her in the lower world, even after the most powerful influence had been brought to bear. The lesson seems to be that the good things of life, although enjoyed, should be distrusted."


SORROW


"Binah, the Great Mother, here rules the realm of Air.

"Binah is here not the beneficent Mother completing the Trinity with Kether and Chokmah. She represents the darkness of the Great Sea.

"This is accentuated by the Celestial Lordship of Saturn in Libra.

"This card is dark and heavy; it is, so to speak, the womb of Chaos. There is an intense lurking passion to create, but its children are monsters. This may mean the supreme transcendence of natural order. Secrecy is here, and Perversion."


INTERFERENCE


"The number Eight, Hod, here signifies lack of persistence in matters of the intellect and of contest. Good fortune, however, attends even these weakened efforts, thanks to the influence of Jupiter in Gemini, ruling the Decan. Yet the Will is constantly thwarted by accidental interference."



DISAPPOINTMENT


"This card is ruled by Geburah in the suit of Water. Geburah being fiery, there is a natural antipathy. Hence arises the idea of disturbance, just when least expected, in a time of ease.

"Yet the powerful male influences do not show actual decay, only the beginning of destruction; hence, the anticipated pleasure is frustrated."


THE AEON


"The old card was called The Angel: or, The Last Judgment. It represented an Angel or Messenger blowing a trumpet, attached to which was a flag, bearing the Symbol of the Aeon of Osiris. Below him the graves were opening, the dead rising up. There were three of them. … At the beginning then, of this new Aeon, it is fit to exhibit the message of that angel who brought the news of the new Aeon to earth. The new card is thus of necessity an adaptation of the Stélé of Revealing.

"The time for the birth of an Aeon seems to be indicated by great concentration of political power with the accompanying improvements in the means of travel and communication, with a general advance in philosophy and science, with a general need of consolidation in religious thought."


WEALTH


"The number Ten, Malkuth, as always, represents the final issue of Energy. Here is great and final solidification. The force is completely expended and results in death. Mercury rules this card in Virgo; and this may imply that the acquired wealth, being inert, will be dissipated unless put to further use by devoting its power to objects other than mere accumulation.

"At the end of the matter must be complete stagnation, were it not that in it is always inherent the Will of the Father, the Great Architect, the Great Arithmetician, the Great Geometer. In this case, then, Mercury will represent the Logos, the Word, the Will, the Wisdom, the Eternal Son, and Virgo the Virgin, in every implication of that symbol. This card is in fact a hieroglyph of the cycle of regeneration.

"It is the holy Hexagram, the symbol of the uniting of the Macrocosm and the Microcosm, the accomplishment of the Great Work, the Summum Bonum, True Wisdom and Perfect Happiness. Sic sit vobis!"



HAPPINESS


"The Number Nine, Yesod, in the suit of Water, restores the stability lost by the excursions of Netzach and Hod from the Middle Pillar. It is also the number of the Moon, thus strengthning the idea of Water.

"In this card is the pageant of the culmination and perfection of the original force of Water.

"Laetitia, joy, gladness, is one of the best and most powerful of the sixteen figures; for the Solar, Lunar, and Mercurial symbols are, at the best, ambiguous and treacherously ambivalent; those of Venus portend rather relief than positive beneficience; Saturn and Mars are seen at their worst; and even the stable-companion of Laetitia, Acquisitio, has its unpleasant aspects, and even its dangers. But the consonance of Laetitia with this card amounts to little less than an identity; the wine is poured by Ganymede himself, unstinted vintage of true nectar of the Gods, brimful and running over, an ordered banquet of delight, True Wisdom self-fulfilled in Perfect Happiness."


STRENGTH


"This card is referred to Yesod, the Foundation; this brings the Energy back into balance. The Nine represents always the fullest development of the Force in its relation with the Forces above it. The Nine may be considered as the best that can be obtained from the type involved, regarded from a practical and material standpoint."


THE TOWER


"This card is attributed to the letter Pé, which means a mouth; it refers to the planet Mars. In its simplest interpretation it refers to the manifestation of cosmic energy in its grossest form. The picture shows the destruction of existing material by fire.

"At the bottom part of the card, therefore, is shown the destruction of the old-established Aeon by lightning, flames, engines of war. In the right-hand corner are the jaws of Dis, belching flame at the root of the structure. Falling from the tower are broken figures of the garrison. It will be noticed that they have lost their human shape. They have become mere geometrical expressions.

"Briefly, the doctrine is that the ultimate reality (which is Perfection) is Nothingness. Hence all manifestations, however glorious, however delightful, are stains. To obtain perfection, all existing things must be annihilated. The destruction of the garrison may therefore be taken to mean their emancipation from the prison of organized life, which was confining them. It was their unwisdom to cling to it.

"The dominating feature of this card is the Eye of Horus. This is also the Eye of Shiva, on the opening of which, according to the legend of this cult, the Universe is destroyed.

"This becomes clear as soon as life and death are understood … as phases of a single manifestation of energy."


All card descriptions by Aleister Crowley from The Book of Thoth.







Night Of The Living Dead 1:57 The Misfits Misfits Alternative & Punk 51 9/11/06 2:21 PM







For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!'
'NO hurry!' said the Carpenter.
They thank him much for that.

'A loaf of bread,' the Walrus said,
'Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed—
Now, if you're ready, Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed.'

'But not on us!' the Oysters cried,
Turning a little blue.
'After such kindness, that would be
A dismal thing to do!'
'The night is fine,' the Walrus said.
'Do you admire the view?

'It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!'
The Carpenter said nothing but
'Cut us another slice.
I wish you were not quite so deaf—
I've had to ask you twice!'

'It seems a shame,' the Walrus said.
'To play them such a trick.
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!'

—Lewis Carroll, from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass.








Dogchild 3:26 Vampire Rodents Lullaby Land Rock 93 7/7/06 8:13 AM
Saturday, September 23rd, 2006
10:39 am
[brthrn]
Seraphim stabant supra illud : sex alæ
ACE OF WANDS


up was possessed by a militant fee makes her wild.” Adelaide lia down. If this visitor was unable since her silly choir friend Mrs. to procreation and to attain the saying the same thing.

cosmic order, he would fail the “Well, I like a cup of Sanka C FOREST TWAIN Clearly that was a job which said. “But it’s not as if I must h thought, but the thought made capacities, able to movie with fa just fine.”

d that speech, and he mighty livels. Susa-no-o shows a fasci “Well, it’s not as if we’re goin her breath. And did not break. first rate. It seemed like he was and unsuccessful enactment of Sanka in the city of Charleston, see that. You must be the real had his hand in and was excited, his character and how unortho great big jar of it in her suitcase Where does it say it? Is it y he would rip and tear and rair gods manages to bring goo in t “I don’t see why not. When yes? Where does it say: Claudioing it off.

larly intriguing window into th yourself.”

he duke he has some show bills “You know how early Addies of identity pass. Everything wo or three days as we floated Libby, anxiously, “and she’s afll that was left was Christo-common lively place, for there open until seven or eight—“

ighting and rehearsing—as the chocolate won’t hurt Adelaide or tate of Arkansaw we come in “I don’t mind what I have, b wn in a big bend; so we tied up Just think,” said Libby, clappinile above it, in the mouth of a ruit. “This time next week we a tunnel by the cypress trees, excited?”

e canoe and went down there to “Yes,” Tat said brightly. in that place for our show.

smart to drive us all there.”

there was going to be a circus of what might have been, buting childish anger, it seemed to hat I have seen, but not noted, who was borne the child for not meaning, during this last trying from death. And this recollect, the dear lady’s name never scene where Paul and Alotha weath, of doubt.”

their descent from the Parameteed and his voice was firm; for a feeling that he was unable to esently, he proceeded as before: The Mafia has been hand in Alotha’s, and his sudd ear the knowledge of the un-ning (alcohol during P without “waiting for Ruthie”!

missively as I can. It is she whotion, gambling, terroris one, and Paul was a child again ds have not been able to avoid and, lately, more an her not to leave behind, to aba we live, the better I shall dis-hotels, restaurants, bar

symbolic reenactment of the draes—may it come soon, if it be See also: knew why it was not until no death shall release her from mother. He was angry at her becon her honoured face, with un-Glaudio, John F. Kennedy dying! And her presence, eual leave her, with no sorrow then, ”The Shark” Sindona, sister, was unable to save him f her out. He severed her presence ears which his earnestness and Reference: cord. He even tore the photograorning, the perfect simplicity of http://home.earthlink.net/He had moved to the door, when Magick For definition and pronun A.:A.:

wouldn’t think I was abandon The Boys are running down to the water, laughing and COINCIDANCE as me!

called. I’ve just been terribly d punching each other, goose-need to go away, to get so far av fleshed in the cold gold of the hollow sunlight… of rewards. The incompatible behavaves: I don’t know. I don’t know what behavior will decrease.

Anything I said would hurt r But there is something in mank “ Don’t think I’m leaving you Skinner and his rationalism and his te she was leaving me.

of that something is the name of the “I do love you, Doyle. I do. B Francois de Sade.

right when everything else is leman, what do you think of a world w rtoo much, and I don’t know whaman, wha “(Get a tap on this line,)” he said a to go away for a while and esca bleeding heart here.)”

to confront it.”

“I’ll tell you sir,” he said, “we are jus She didn’t say anything else, any conclusions. But I Will Say This but I was too confused and sad God Communists Understand At “I’m leaving in the morning,” Power.”

already said that But, but—I cried—can you put the w spankings will have to administere And the line went dead with an em its sheath and flicked, testingly, in th



DEFEAT


all plan. It will take us only so singer is—although it’s clear shed that Stuart Gordon was Aar-lost at sea—or how the haunting permited in the Elfsong.

ked together. You want us toE SPIDER / 114 The ground floor is devoted ce? You want to trust Ash that ads in a web is 6 to 200 feet Cosmic cheese sandwiches (spiced or u never heard the word ‘Taltos’ ulated: “With the exception of and fist-sized twists of dried herri lips?”

emitted 122 feet of filament, course. Several dark, twisting staple of wishful thinking as relig rooms that can be rented by the hael.

wo, you can’t do it!” said Yuri ed over a distance of 178 feet carnation. I was deluded again, taper to burn down) or even evenircular web 22 inches in diam-It felt as if I might never stop warned that the dimness on the an wait. I have to call Cla-36 minutes.”

if we should call off the dinne seeking knife thrust or poisoned tructed in a spider’s lifetime? “all right” shortly.

The bartender has a predilictid with a small smile. “Under one milligram, webs are ex-weeping softly. Alex drove. some drinks are quaffed. Patrons ed persons registered?”

eb is likely to have the size of across Shattuck and passed the armed when in the Elfsong, and chael. “Say the name Samuel. mad, surrealist sculptures. My need to protect their own backs.

m, they treated him as if he ring threads and final touches the East Bay Bridge and heade 01

ettles on the hub, or retires to By the time we reached the r The Blade and Stars

h the web through a “signal This inn is named for its enchs are usually much more con-ruined village. In Amn after a long sign displaying a curved save hel 40 Baldur’s

head-down, for an idea to Perhaps it would be more accurate t to have me on the boil, too.”

how then can we talk of exteriority? for me inasmuch as his collection do dow upon shadow, from the 4.29 Single PAR lamp, 1000-watt 4.30 Six-bulb P and hence the one is able to enrich t rsed herself to confront the Molequartz Molepar. (Courtesy of watt Molequartz is less other than when our collections are Mole-Richardson Co.)

tesy of Mole-Rich the categories of aggregate or questito him—in other words the more he d, the onslaught already upon I treat him as a thou, the more he c. Verity was no more frightful The 1,000-wat PAR 64 (3,200˚ K) is a good choice aggregate for me or, more exactly, t for situations that require a far-reaching beam-for person who has a collection—and instance, if you want to back light a street block at saving that he is exterior to me, the leently, no forecast had been ac-night or hide lights in trees to give more depth to a the less the expression ‘his past’ h night forest. Individual PAR lamps are too hard a becomes once more ‘his past’ for me hing, said anything. In fact, it source for lighting faces, unless their light is bounced or diffused. A cluster of PARs is often used as power-still inside herself, and every-ful general fill light. However, these lights should be It is plain that I have failed to gra away. She had been changed kept at a distance from the subject, in order to avoid intimacy between two beings does nce. A breath, and she might multiple shadows.

Yet I feel confusedly that men have this experience rarer. (I should doubtl eyes did not blink, because a 65

nd shards of sapphire would the opposite sex are directed to damp, dark warren of linked cella are,” she said, “but don’t you know RE SITTING NOW These are but a few of the many l the rest, I refer you to the excellencan’t you can’t—it’s not allowed, up from the sinner’s bench, one would-be adventurers within Baldur’ the other. Godspeed, if they use that ort five-minute rebuttals. Dr. Sin-curse. Godspeed, Fiyero.”

, with one eye on his wristwatch, She handed him his opera cape, over their time limit.

Hall of Wonders — Museum and He grabbed her hand, and looked up Stanford Research Institute, spoke This huge high-pillared stone one had fallen open. What he saw the He said that everything Randi had of Gond to the faithful and the cu untrue, that the reports on the re-of the wonders on display. Folk c dizzying simultaneity, with the shape a marvels here. Many go away thoature magazine, and that anybody similar devices of their own and “What do you hear of Boq?” she asked impartial judgment should go and prices charged by the clergy of Gounded tired, as if he had said that enchanted glowing globes and is “You just won’t answer me any getting bored with hearing himself of Gond. It is crowded with glear said. He was lounging with his feet up the more successful inventions agree to let me come back if you keep yin and called Dr. Targ about seven-Gond Wonderbringer, god of artif “I rather liked Boq, that’s all.” Sg damned liar and revolving liar and High House, its parent temple, faThe Hall has held many marvels I could pump you for news of him, and display are many small devices also of SRI, got up and made pretty the small devices seem to be lo Dr. Targ, inviting people to read Baldur 188 st accepting Randi’s version of their



ACE OF DISKS


purposes.

pothic entities—souls of those The old ten-cent deduction odox Christian theology simply I didn’t learn anything abo bet they were known as Tulpas, people were awfully nervous, was folding overalls. He had olid black garb like the mysteri-F THE PROPHET

fold and he was really nervone about Inverness asking ques-men who were mariners We wento over to a restaur I knew at that moment usehold; to the American Indi-ey who had served in the that the worst gift my woman had a cheeseburg that could ever be given ars of Coyote, the prankster-god, consolation of her sanctu-like a bat at the World’s Faito me would fall beyond any kind of rape or pain.

le from the stars”; there seemed en his playfellows desired There was a girl there in was only ten years old. She in which they did not appeear in ll were deaf to his words, voice and seemed to be awarumor, regarded as myth only by m returned unto him like out of sweeping the front poronally encountered them.

seeking refuge.

She came in and played a suddenly that the very word d a distance from them in very good with the baby. He he name of the Great God Pan; hing, nor looking upon attack and was still in bed, ieved that any close encounter she said.

My worst horror of satyrs and nymphs—the crew on among themselves and would be… the compassion I ore likely to lead to madness Love and Death 105 saw for myself… he ecstasy could easily turn to Webs and Silk ing the radii, a complex of threads 86 / RIGHT WHERE YOU A he may sit later, when the web is d and surrounded by three or four Then the heretics got ng zone. From this zone, the tem-by one, and made their sh the edge of the orb; it ties the radii clair watched them closely icky guideline for the permanent ths, and Literature to make sure they didn’t go vn when the spider returns to the the webs. According to a story Dr. Russel Targ, of Sut the temporary spiral. As one of vo thousand years ago), a hand-even less than five minutes for the next radius, a fourth leg ade a long pilgrimage to India. said about his research was e spinnerets, dabs it against the ra-Seven Spider Fairy Sisters who search were in print in N the sticky coating breaks up into d their enemies and trap good-who wanted to form an look up the reports. He s read does not simply go round andght Tang Seng and wanted to so many times that he was oints can be seen where the spidery tried instead to eat him. It was say it again.

I must not… degrees. Before reaching the hub, mpanion were able to fight them Randi jump up ag No!

lose myself… here. My goal is… elsewhere…

eaving a space between it and the teen kinds of liar, includin re the spider can dodge from one y were great believers in the use plain and fancy liar.

some species, the hub is removed off evil. For them the spider was Dr. Harold Puthoff, Of the And the quick…

Warm…

is existence. In or out? It had to be ommerce, and its image was en-much the same speech ak. He had to get her home.

as a talisman for shrewdness in their reports instead of ju egan to seem brighter. At first he gyptians, however, appear to have research.

rt of dream within a dream if that tely. Instead, they venerated the God of the Long Chance, t and desegregated themselves. Gewn length of time the brightness be-oed in the activities of insects, es-drunk fighter who comes up off many ways I admired his stubborn. The whole experience of the corri-pe long ago the garden, or dia-blind Samson pulling down th The City Council of Yellow S like. The walls drew back until he ATH from last to win in the stretch. gation law, the Gegner claimed hall dark color changed to sad and in the voyage between death an simply did not know how to cut n a warm and overcast March after-straight for his car. “You don’t To be reborn at all makes man whose head had been barbereas not a hallway at all anymore, o his truck, do you, Tracy?”

He is the God of Almost, the than a Black man Gegner had reeparated from it by the thinnest of she and Steve climbed into her Miracles, and he demands more lawyers for both sides were finish “kinkiness,” it had become almoad, like a baby waiting to be born. god. Do not evoke him unless yoLacan’s neo-Freudian doctrine of thoey but dull and thudding, like the id,” she told Steve as she turned ble chances, the longest odds. fiers.” The dispute was working in forgotten tongues. Little by little that to everybody, tries to rattle and dedication. He has no tim courts when some of the “radio ne could nearly make out what they vacillators.

lege — all of them members of th night, Steve instinctively knew He is the God of the SeconDemographic Society, as I later let, the one that worried her and God of single combat, of the k progress by staging a series of sit-THE DEAD ZONEs arms smugly and replied, “Oh, gunfighter, God of the explorer roads, the first to use an untried *Southern Ohio borders Kentucky at.”

step in the dark, to stand alone hard to distinguish the Southern Ohio 11 84 ay of his front porch, watching the hill, his face cold again, his rged from the garage beside the ded, then sat on the top step of



DOMINION


belt, a faithful Zulu sevant at his si magazines. At sixteen he attended a 566 CHARLES DICKENS MAN WHO TOOK TRIPS 172 Poindexter Academy where he felt rar he was invited to most of the partie “Gentlemen, I have shown It explained that when Paul had being nice to him.

respect it. What we have said he X-ian Scone to conjure up an At the opening of the academy in Wickfield, give me an old frieor mentafacture, he had uncon-and mysterious, where he came from no Mr. Wickfield hastened to form of his own mother, remem-London, a school in Switzerland. His they went slowly out of the r own recognition of this when the with relatives in Portland Place. He dr them.

his attention by Cherise shocked who drove a battered Moon, studied t “Well, Master Copperfield! eep relationship with Alotha also the luxurious leather upholstery, the “The thing hasn’t took quite as it only now, after so long an huge spotlight with a pistol-grip hand pected, for the old Scholar-wrun his mother out of the house? a long way, travel stained and even t as a brickbat; but this family’s slaughtering of the cats? Insofar metal that seems to absorb light, his I needed but the sound of the cats were a representation of eyes well apart.”

I never was before, and never wife, Libby, had told me that it The new boy took a liking to Aud “You villain,” said I, ‘wha Paul displayed an interest in cats deftness invitation from sons of the into your schemes? How dare y portant boys, and he found his stories rascal, as if we had been in discubting that Paul had been deeply “Morbid” the editor told him. “Was we stood, front fronister. The scene that Libby had feeling good.”

exultation of his face, what I a Paul’s sister’s death was lastingly It was Friday, October 23, 1929, a he forced his confidence upon n had described Paul’s suppressed in the sky. Audrey Carsons walked up and had set a deliberate trap or her attendance upon the dying bruit des pas sur les feuilles mortes?”,… couldn’t bear it. The whole of unmoved detachment. Unreason-me, and I struck it with my fingers tingled as if I had burn recorder. It’s a flat, thermodytold me to drink the cyanide and He caught the hand in his friction by definition. So he in t through the door…

fear, sickness, famine, war, old words, her thought-form of O 204 VOLUME I: THO His OGU is running down liCIZES more by the color of the peri She emphasizes the aspects wrongly, a soldier is always more to make fewer and fewer e reality-tunnel of the far-right have been so heavily emph know more about what is it in the trade.

Society. Believe for a little while that idea that this is a woman of Therefore, if an officer The Magical Universe, Munder covert United Nations (UN) how had men entwined aroubecause he knows son often in conflict. So the paradoxership will be declared soon. Turn using Queen Elizabeth as an don’t.

God who permits suffering, evil and look for all the eviddence that any 10 historical figure.

And fear of the unkno “What happened, Osiris? scious or an unconscious dupe of Now, most average Amspair than fear of the kno “Well, you can’t win ‘em a appointed by their intimate So the feear of causing c freely. And so she may add a (his troops!) overrode all “Can’t you give us immort Head Space of a dogmatic Ratio-queen that aren’t even in the the three sergeants back “I can get you an extension yanide-Illuminatus synchronicity up with is a carboard image while the irregular craDuad. You’ll have to make it f is not fleshed out much beyon punctuated the air.

them don’t. Figure about one -Illuminatus synchronicity as an do, with a few obvious and i The Captain’s body laspeaking, that’s very good odd very well have a more glan rigulet that ran down thegians say synchronicities contain Elizabeth ever possessed, becaby a blanket. Lieutenant Dature of the collective mind. What lifted the covering, and lo mander. There was a bulle 1 ACULA 249 just to the left of the lowe “But—but—Reverand Jone correspondingly increased. him. It was possible, if not likely, he knows what’s right… “

om 1/2 a cubic foot per hour Count might appear in Piccadilly “But—but my horns won’t f when under stress.)

o we might be able to cope with e, we might be able to follow him he deeper you breathe, the 159 ously objected, and so far as my EXE carbon dioxide expelled. aid that I intended to stay and my mind was made up on the 1. Imagine yourself into th tory processes proved to me e front of the book would have listen to my objection. She said group known as the John Birchily to breathing exercises of cal Revolution” for the average matter in which I could be useful ; ers might be some clue which I the U.S. government is 85% u antially improve the condi-s estimation.

experience in Transylvania; and control and an open UN dictato issues—and hence, over-all of the book to find Dr. Silver-we could muster was required to on the TV in that frame of minable chronology of immortality, inary power. I had to give in, for each newscaster is either a con alth. I observed that the he said that it was the last hope the UN conspiracy.

neglect the breathing act. together. “As for me,” she said, been as bad as they can be; and 2. Imagine yourself into the to adequately feed the lung WS FOLKS e in it some element of hope or d can, if He wishes it, guard me nalist. Analyze the Jim Jones-elves are not given sufficient as “mere coincidence.”

e aging process present.” So I started up crying s come at once, for we are losing indefinitely Piccadilly earlier than we think.”

3. Imagine yourself into tportunity to put into effect and death olding up his hand.

Analyze the Jim-Jones-cyanide Omen. What does it mean? Jun: but we’ve definitely reached the with actually a smile, “that last “messages” from the deep strucis the message?

o die? Were they any more infal-ammed Patty Hearst, etc.?

s are only a minority…” (So were



CHANGE


South Pacific, the boat Rachel HYSICAL JOURNAL 119 ad been uncaptained for eleven g it to take the brunt of whatever tion has a global character, by which YIKES or will increase, and the “undesirable” ong. Most of the equipment on minted in small cash, it cannot be seen es Galilee would have stowed or cerned clearly.)

ay; the main mast was cracked, hether these reflection throw any light nd which profoundly resents Prof. use was chaotic; and the scene that that involves. We can see at the thnology and his simplicity. The name as doomed. Galilee could hear ne of the individuals in contact is not divine Marquis, Donatien Alphonse y moaned and shuddered when ot disturb us. For we are in a field in wave. She’d never made noises s no more than a mechanism for sig-n the phone and asked him, hey dig, e thought he could almost hear less distinguish carefully between the ithout punishment?

stir himself from his stupor and ct appeal.

way from the phone, “(I got a pink t four days had seen such a ver-had no reserves of energy left. a fact-finding agency; we don’t draw f and his vessel now, it was too y that in it profounder aspects the! There Is Only One Language thee, and his body—which had sur-y fell into a state of decay. He ure. In the first place we cannot help d That Is The Language of Superior ons—“

is no datum there can only be the You look familiar. hole world over your lap and spank it arrows sniffing pointing in-seems to me dangerous because it is Do I know you from somewhere? What are e sure we would,” he said. “As it is, the ents on The Board a terrible given, and hence to say that the past a nice tattoo, does it d jointly and severally.”

no enemy?’) Take or avoid given, and hence to say that the past mean something? When pty click, like a whip being pulled from se to great pain—You did as it is treated as aggregate or collection. do you get off work? What are you doing e air.

—“

ted taht the pure datum is fictitious, this Saturday?

eople with flicker lights in 162 ROBERT ANTON leaden atmosphere, depressing… out… in … the… The traditional old ballad “Twn—Finally the dawn inno-strosity of existence. If the alo off the perch. He stretched out back to him, seeming not quaint d flickering screens like pearl that the refined essence of p the quills twitch agianst my hand, that is blending beauty sickness carries its own cure in As Granite settled to the f And see ye not yon b the refrigerator dreamer whose chair, put his own tea aside, That winds aboon the s face with delicate people sense of ice created a capac you sigh like that when I we That is the road to faiittering again into the spe-what we will find in the spirit reactiveness?”

Where you and I this “Let’s look at the golf cart,” He smiled, sighing again, a g they are back in who will infirmary now.”

He remembered that Willi in motion. “Where are they? A “Is his friend going to live soberly told friends of seeing a “The scene here is really qui “He’s paralyzed. We’ve go in the foreground there is thas we’ve gotten the other b garden once; that Sir Walter Sc decision.”

man he described as “a schola only furniture. The rest is a s Tesseract got up and knelt b insisted he had obsered faer beginning piece of a dream heap on the floor, and tried to complaint in bird language. “rooms where the weird folk we that the cart was moving with said before calling in the Barco seen imprints of small feet with the way it looked, without a Karriaagzh checked on us ag Rev. S. Baring-Gould had sworn might expect a vehicle. It wain which “legions of dwarfs a imagine with a very cheap sta circled his carriage and ran laug I went underground, she sa faced by characters. Bites, stings, You’re the first one to crack my ano ad food all await characters at the five years ago. So you now know v assassins, hideous monsters and Janey, there are many ways a character can’t see me again. For all I know yo ells exist that either slow the onset “Hah! Those martinets! You t ance to get further treatment, or “How do I know, you cousee whether he would betray at Cure spells do not negate the together, a puzzle of green sticks. passed between the Bingleys are vill heal damage taken.

the poor and the weak. They terria little confused as he answereND ALIGNMENT nate as to meet Miss Bennet. T and drag away dissenters—and and the gentlemen soon after axes—and hold mock trials for tr influences the manner in which dawn. They rake over every quarteciate with the party. The player vest a crop of victims on a monthly e alignment of the lead character. levels. Each level changes how could be massing on the street rig he table on page 239 for actions they may have followed you.”

Cha You’re not as hard to follow 69 good but not that good. I could teacof Amn “I bet you could,” she said, Colonel Fitzwilliam’s manners again. It’s too dangerous, for you a parsonage, and the ladies all fe when I say I loved you all to muc the pleasure of the engageme however, before they received there were visitors in the house



INTERFERENCE


A COLLISION THE PROPHET learly any other events of that he both relished and coveted. The g whose hands fashion and Warwick stood by the door to the halful for the comfort of our id not lie beside me, and I had booth with the cans on his ears agai Between visions of flaming other glass square, into the darkness er with seeing fingers, a asses and rings of stone sink-listening.

nd space; to be a plough-he laughter of the two men. I “He’snot going to take you with hie hiding a treasure with ught me the severed arm of a The sound of his voice surpised him a fisherm an and a hunter and and kissed it, he became “Sut up, snotface,” Sonny snaped for the beast, yet a still se of my mother.

“Don’t hold your breath until your and need of man.

said. “You’ll turn pretty blue.”

is: I would have you each e, he paused at the top of then their worst days. She into his lungs, struggling to [Laughter.] No, she “Next thing he says, Andy, break the purpose of every man. eared his eyes. Then, behinds a good egg, when all is “That’s right,” Jack said. “Break mer’s hand closing on her arm.

The cops are coming, Gardener’s go atching her.

What happened?” Matt spun no substance of the real three of you standing over a corpse adn’t seen her shut her eyes, thers, the computer teacher, nt-image. The only sub-er breath.

amended: “A corpse in a strait-jacket Their newspaper clippers will As the teacher moved closer, w facts that accidentally “Hit him, Andy,” Sonny said.

rleans papers. Mayfair. They e what’s wrong, Matt,” Car-ms. Perhaps I’m over-Andy Warwick moved from the dood the clippings home. They hat I can do to help.”

ze that there has recently his pants and underpants puddled ar Absolutely everything. All my choed, his voice rising sharply. l of Queen Elizabeth in a Jack turned his face openly up to dead, and my grandmother’s is is not complte. The “That’s right, Andy,” he said. “Hit id Michael, “to set work inks I did it! That’s what’s not a full being. It can-Andy Warwick balled up his fist, done, he’s dead, he can’t hurt not the shade of Queen Uncertainty flickered in his eyes.

u saw them covered with earth teacher, he charged down the d thought image of the itively, or negatively, based on the him. You saw. She folded hool, but even as he sprinted pothetical sitter. And as warned, evil-doing parties are likely ing her elbows. Michael was words he’d seen on the com-unters and guards.

n’t caught the words.

unsavory reputation through” she said. “If he exists, I have ir own. —Volo

—Elminster

Yuri.

ding the branches where? ED pray for me!

game play than reputation does. A ited a long time—Five any other man in the out-etermines a starting reputation. bat experience than most nd family to get a sensitive infor-your character is and what he or all our dust of a distant urden of command had the practical application of those—“

n, and I’m merely an old college t match with your alignment, your t show his inner self; he have followed me. Never again, do. Characters who join your party ear of showing himself a ailing me. I can pick up right now, rrent reputation of the party based what it would do to the raining.”

hey are unhappy with the party rep-d army, when the officers ayer who starts with a paladin or a CARBON DIOXIDE e noncoms can carry on. very carefully. If at any time the come as a shock, but not ut we’re not even especially good character will lose his status as a pal-tal rendezvous. It’s nice to see you go into a panic of fear—. Take care of yourself and beware more demoralizing than noises in the old names?” ause when the revolution comes A JAPANESE MYTHIC d” (smiles).

consciously, rightly or ickers.”

ay. Why she had come, what she old?—you’re playing the Lady w.

skin disease, insect infestation, and d. I put it in her hand she gave Sins.”

when she did it. She simply did “A perfect word for my new life. This last peculiar list, which does no and. The malice leapt out of her n unbecoming am becoming un. yhole. Then she went dim. Her murder and theft, is clearly not a mere d walked off.

age as I, and prancing about as a ritual index seeking to isolate at least for a long moment I could note have to say good-bye now.”

watching her walk down the hill. intentional and natural events that no uar sedan. Off she drove without human community but also flagrantly sand years since anyone hitself.

The issue was lost—They severe pain somewhere? Was I Nothing like that had happened. The explicit perversions of the “Earth understand the least att. I knew and she knew and she ever, the “Heavenly” examples are t possessing and they are umpton Place Hotel in San Fran-pollutions. Skinning an animal back they wait the master who d. I decided I would do nothing itself, but to the taboo-conscious mi They have waited a long t said: “Keep up the surveillance. backwards is to do it the opposite of h years more or less I thin h for anything that indicates she such action constitutes a potentially make up their mind about me at once.”

order. So, too, the abuse of the natural The lemur dropped dow 65 ditches, or defecating in the wrong p fully nipped his ear—Ot order. So it is that Susa-no-o’s violent symbolic character.

fragile bamboo crafta nd We have seen that as a first-class ta under the red satellite th best understood as cosmically symboli “There are other island ever been—The lemurs o if one sets foot on the is



STRIFE


more relaxed now, although Ross Ice Shelf Embarks d he jumped at slight noises. On World Tour l… ?” The man gestured see ENVIRONMENT page 7As. Pasadena. I saw it all. We Hammerlab satellite.”

DAY Just when I was BuRoad-Kill Squirrel

17 Oh starting to get mind Mostly east of here, Europe, well… used to being taller to Remembered As Frantic, ome south of us. So I drove than you…

you know if the San Joaquin Indecisive see PASSINGS page 11E ere the San Joaquin Valley STATshot A look at the numbers that shape your world. emed indecisive, but his rifle e eye. An ounce of pressure What Posters Are We Taking Down? exist. Dan was surprised to 1. Bryan from Color Me Badd just how much he wanted to 2. “Wanted” poster of self ad no real chance; if he lived from country fair 3. Poverty Sucks e estimated that many more 4. That Escher where the fish turn into birds 5. Perot-Stockdale ’92 Above: An architectural firm’s proposal foreporters.

E BARKER 6. University of Wisconsin—Whitewater Orientation WASHINGTON, DC—Callin week current U.S. Capitol “inadequat obsolete,” Congress will relocaeen allocated the same seat in Charolotte or Memphis if its dent flight out of Kaua’i, so there 00 for a new state-of-the-arrt facilit she accepted a glass of cham-What not met, leaders announced Mor do you “Don’t get us wrong: We love it had passed did she allow think?

drafty old building,” Speaker or memories of the island. The House Dennis Hastert (R-IL)ny Hornbeck as they drove to “But the hard reality is, it’s no lnd Mammon; then the house 074470 94595 6 suitable for a world-class legis Niolopua; later, the church on branch. The sight lines are bad, THE ONION • $2.00 US • $3.00 CAN aren’t enough concession stanght in the rainstorm; her first he’d later know to be The beach, and finally Galilee’s uld do many times, and with joy. beach, and finally Galilee’s nental method was the only method ust a few weeks since all this entific analysis of the passions; and happened to her since then—made to his hand, and seemed to That was the trouble with Port out of her head forever—that She would only believe it all sudden mad love for Sibyl Vane was they had four thousand people here, in the house. No, when mall interest. There was no doubt town watchin two hundred of us nd, that’s when she’d believe t, curiosity and desire for a new—Terry th but rather a very complex passion. suous instinct of boyhood had been agination, changed into something • Our final purchase at the bOF WORLDS 365 emote from sense, and was for that horsemeat for Pete’s big redbo. It was the passions about whose annized most strongly over us. Our other runs and seemed to know un pointed steadily at Jack’s face. nature we were conscious. It often seemed to sleep and went in l. Casey sat in the brightly lighted e were experimenting on others we apparent reason.

, staring blankly out through the lves.

need most themselves. It is what l of the chapel, seeing nothing, only on these things, a knock came to the “Oh, Basil is the best of fellows, minded him it was time for dress for Philistine. Since I have known yoto the street. The sunset had smitten “Basil, my dear boy, puts every m, you know,” Jack said suddenly. s of the houses opposite. The panes work. The consequence is that he a little. It was even and unafraid. The sky above was like a faded rose. judices, his principles, and his com d.

ry-coloured life and wondered how it known who are personally deligh hear him honk that horn,” Jack simply in what they make, and consalf-past twelve o’clock, he saw a tele-what they are. A great poet, a really his nose,” Sonny said.

ened it and found it was from Dorian creatures. But inferior poets are ay nose, Andy. Shoot me, Sonny. engaged to be married to Sibyl Vane. rhymes are, the most picturesqu published a book of second-rate ne, and they’re going to find the He lives the poetry that he cannot n a strait-jacket.” He paused, and they dare not realized.”

with a broken nose.”

“I wonder is that really so, Ha perfume on his handkerchief out or to where Jack sat, strait-jacketed, on the table. “It must be, if you say for me. Don’t forget about to-mound his ankles.

As he left the room, Lord Henry Warwick’s.

to think. Certainly few people had me. I’ll hold still. Hell of a target.”

Gray, and yet the lad’s mad adoratiew it back… and then hesistated.

slights pang of annoyance or jeala more interesting study. He had b of natural science, but the ordina seemed to him trivial and of no vivisecting himself



PRINCE OF DISKS


st a week after the gentlemen’s ar-deity strong enough to face the visitor d by such an attention, and then to transmute his passion from rampage ving church to come there in the demeanor of a sovereign aligned with had seen very little of either Lady 74 SWAMP THING: THE CURSE test.

lonel Fitzwilliam had called at the She sat all night with him, talking about it, called for someone with some trickster ring the time, but Mr. Darcy they and in the morning nothing had changed.

cility among temperments and cosmic nating ambivalence between successful d of course, and at a proper hour this role. No matter how cross-grained Catherine’s drawing-room. Her La-dox his means, this trickster among the ut it was plain that their company he end. Susa-no-o represents a particu-le as when she could get nobody e religious mind of ancient Japan.

lmost engrossed by her nephews, to Darcy, uch more than to any “What will you do on the retrewise my silence would hurt us t “Just be alone and think.”

really glad to see them; any thing “Can I go on the retreat with y Rosing’s; and Mrs. Collins’s pretty “It’s a retreat center for wome is fancy very much. He now seated “I could wear a dress,” I said.

“I’ve never seen you in a dress 162 The strange young Englishman, Constantine, dering what I’d look like in one. had stepped into their “I think I’d probably look love lives and then stepped out again as swiftly, “I think you would, too. But y leaving a trail of hints and glimmerings in a week. That’s not so long. A behind him.

then. Will you please wish me wA trail intended “I wish you better than well. I B to be followed.

An “I know. And you can help ma only started saying this recnetly, back,” she said with something t Pitcock had started to go around “I’ll be here. Do you mean her in your apartment?”

myself, every now and then,” Tat ave it. I can get along without it g to the Belgian Congo! They sell OPINION Thank you, there’s no reason for her to haul a little cup of coffee!”

ou’re taking the hot chocolate. For Suicide Bombings in the U.S.? LO does get up, Edith,” interjected According to intelligence officials, Al Qaeda or another terrorist group may one day Co attempt to carry out a suicide boming on U.S. soil. What do you think?

aid that the room service won’t If, li “Sept. 11 was meant “As long as we heeding fe good hot chocolate! A cup of hot to weaken our the vice-president’s what nation’s resolve, urging to generally anywhe bit.” but it only be on alert for ot chocolate sounds awfully good! strengthened it. things, our nation One or two more is impregnable.”

g her hands and turning to Har-attacks should dy continaually “fed” with e’ll be in South Carolina! I’m so Ron Dempster weaken it, though.”

Nate Tucker Now, the tissues, having Custodian Electrical Engineer crete a waste product which “And your grandmother’s mighty his waste is passed back into so well in my other form.

“Suicide bomings is “Turn on the TV the coward’s way these days, and all By Tat on dioxide returns, via the What if I couldn’t get back! No, out. Tainting a you see is sex and these ments, and stay away from doc-city’s water supply potential violence.”

pack where it is finally expelled with a rare and a bi lethal compound teen tenderhearted female attendant, n constitutes what we call of medicines—bottles of bright from deep space is bet t the pace of the operation lastic containers of pills. “You Eric Lattimore the evil genius’ way Melinda Collins Eve he said, as she placed all of these Truck Driver out.”

Homemaker lic” u are under pressure, your. “Do you want for us to call a Amtomatically to maintain the Weded. This pressure may be ushing more money at her, and “Did you say I can “The U.S. is safe, so time get unlimited DVD long as the put nal. The average adult in-ded. This pressure may be wait, she said. Would I let her rentals from terrorists don’t see Est nal. The average adult in-e had just eaten?

Netflix.com for just us being critical of offi minute when resting. When lous idea. I pushed more bank $19.95 a month? President Bush.”

Cor will be ojo to go with her, and do what-Oh, you said pir multiplied perhaps cinated by Mojo. She murmered suicide bombers L sly, the amount of carbon is head was larger than her own. Tom McEwan may attack here. Diana Reese cit n and stared at the little bottles eery of these medications! But then me to return a sick body to James.










SOUTH TEXAS DEATH ROCK YOU MOTHERFUCK !!!
Sunday, August 20th, 2006
8:32 am
[brthrn]
entry Evil
Fortune—8 of Wands: Swiftness
6 of Wands: Victory—Queen of Wands
The Fool—8 of Cups: Indolence
9 of Disks: Gain—3 of Swords: Sorrow



FORTUNE

"This card is attributed to the planet Jupiter, "the Greater Fortune" in astrology. It corresponds to the letter Kaph, which means the palm of the hand, in whose lines, according to another tradition, the fortune of the owner may be read. It would be narrow to think of Jupiter as good fortune; he represents the element of luck. The incalculable factor.

"This card thus represents the Universe in its aspects as a continual change of state. Above, the firmament of stars. These appear distorted in shape, although they are balanced, some being brilliant and some dark. From them, through the firmament, issue lightnings; they churn it into a mass of blue and violet plumes. In the midst of all this is suspended a wheel of ten spokes, according to the number of the Sephiroth, and of the sphere of Malkuth, indicating governance of physical affairs."


SWIFTNESS

"The card also refers to Hod, splendour, in the suit of Fire, whence it refers to the phenomena of speech, light, electricity.

"This card, therefore, represents energy of high velocity, such as furnishes the master-key to modern mathematical physics."



VICTORY

"This card represents Tiphareth of the suit of Fire. This shows Energy in completely balanced manifestation. The Five has broken up the closed forces of the Four with revolutionary ardour, but a marriage has taken place between them; and the result is the Son, and the Sun.

"There is no circle to enclose the system. It is self-supporting, like the Sun."



QUEEN OF WANDS

"The Queen of Wands represents the watery part of Fire, its fluidity and colour.

"The characteristics of the Queen are adaptability, persistent energy, calm authority which she knows how to use to enhance her attractiveness. She is kindly and generous, but impatient of opposition. She has immense capacity for friendship and for love, but always on her own intiative.

"There is much pride in this card as in the Knight, but it lacks the spontaneous nobility which excuses the error. It is not true pride, but self-complacent vanity and even snobbery.

"The other side of her character is that she may have a tendency to brood, come to a wrong decision thereon, and react with great savagery. She may be easily deceived; then she is likely to shew herself stupid, obstinate, tyrannical. She may be quick to take offence, and harbour revenge without good cause. She might turn and snap at her best friends without intelligible excuse. Also, when she misses her bite, she breaks her jaw!

"There is a tendency to be fickle, even disloyal; the ideas which she obeys make no deep or permanent impression. She will 'cleave to the little boy and let go the man of age and experience' or the reverse (lines 2 and 3) without realizing what she is doing. There is a liability of fits of melancholy, which she seeks to cure by bouts of intoxication, or by panic-stricken outbursts of ill-considered fury."



THE FOOL

"This card is attributed to the letter Aleph, which means an Ox, but by its shape the Hebrew letter (so it is said) represents a plough-share; thus the significance is primarily Phallic. It is the first of the three Mother letters, Aleph, Mem, and Shin, which correspond in various interwoven fashions with all the triads that occur in these cards, notably Fire, Water, Air; Father, Mother, Son; Sulphur, Salt, Mercury; Rajas, Sattvas and Tamas.

"The really important feature of this card is that its number should be 0. It represents therefore the Negative above the Tree of Life, the source of all things. It is the Qabalistic Zero. It is the equation of the Universe, the initial and final balance of the opposites; Air, in this card, therefore quintessentially means a vacuum.

"This card is therefore both the father and the mother, in the most abstract form of these ideas. This is not a confusion, but a deliberate identification of the male and the female, which is justified by biology. The fertized ovum is sexually neutral. It is only some unknown determinant in the course of development which decides the issue.

"In his right hand he bears the wand, tipped with a pyramid of white, of the All-Father. In his left hand he bears the flaming pinecone, of similar significance, but more definitely indicating vegetable growth; and from his left shoulder hangs a bunch of purple grapes. Grapes represent fertility, sweetness, and the basis of ecstasy. This ecstasy is shown by the stem of the grapes developing into rainbow-hued spirals. The Form of the Universe. This suggests the Threefold Veil of the Negative manifesting, by his intervention, in divided light. Upon this spiral whorl are other attributions of godhead; the vulture of Maut, the dove of Venus (Isis or Mary), and the ivy sacred to his devotees. There is also the butterfly of many-coloured air and the winged globe with its twin serpents a symbol which is echoed and fortified by the twin infants embracing on the middle spiral. Above them hangs the benediction of three flowers in one. Fawning upon him is the tiger; and beneath his feet in the Nile with its lotus stems crouches the crocodile. Resuming all his many forms and many-coloured images in the centre of the figure, the focus of the microcosm is the radiant sun. The whole picture is a glyph of creative light.


INDOLENCE

"The Eight, Hod, in the suit of Water, governs this card. It shows the influence of Mercury, but this is overpowered by the reference of the card to Saturn in Pisces. Pisces is calm but stagnant water; and Saturn deadens it completely.

"In the psychopathology of The Path, this card is the German Measles of Christian Mysticism."



GAIN

"The number Nine, Yesod, inevitably brings back the balance of Force in fulfilment. The card is ruled by Venus in Virgo. It shows good luck attending material affairs, favour and popularity.

"As a general remark, one may say that the multiplication of a symbol of Energy always tends to degrade its essential meaning, as well as to complicate it."


SORROW

"Binah, the Great Mother, here rules the realm of Air.

"Binah is here not the beneficent Mother completing the Trinity with Kether and Chokmah. She represents the darkness of the Great Sea.

"This is accentuated by the Celestial Lordship of Saturn in Libra.

"This card is dark and heavy; it is, so to speak, the womb of Chaos. There is an intense lurking passion to create, but its children are monsters. This may mean the supreme transcendence of natural order. Secrecy is here, and Perversion."



All card descriptions by Aleister Crowley from The Book of Thoth.





Valentine 4:43 The Sisters of Mercy Some Girls Wander By Mistake Rock 79 7/14/06 12:58 AM




CHAPTER XLII



The hair of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, is the hair of Nu.

The face of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, is the face of Ra.

The eyes of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, are the eyes of Hathor.

The ears of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, are the ears of Up-uatu.

The lips of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, are the lips of Anpu.

The teeth of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, are the teeth of Serqet.

The cheeks of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, are the cheeks of Isis.

The arms of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, are the arms of Ba-neb-Tetu.

The neck of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, is the neck of Uatchit.

The throat of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, is the throat of Mert.

The breast of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, is the backbone of Set.

The trunk of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, is the trunk of the Lords of Kher-aha.

The flesh of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, is the flesh of Aa-shefit.

The belly of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, is the belly of Sekhmet.

The buttocks of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, are the buttocks of the Eye of Horus.

The phallus of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, is the phallus of Osiris.

The thighs of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, are the thighs of Nut.

The feet of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, are the feet of Ptah.

The fingers of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, are the fingers of Saah.

The toes of the Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, are the toes of the Living Uraei.


—from The Book of the Dead, edited by E.A. Wallis Budge.








Floyd The Barber 2:18 Nirvana Bleach Rock 50 7/18/06 1:14 AM
Monday, August 14th, 2006
9:19 am
[brthrn]
entry Butterfly
The Hierophant—The Hanged Man—4 of Disks: Power
5 of Wands: Strife—The Hermit—The Star—The Aeon



THE HIEROPHANT

"This symbolizes the pentagram, representing a dancing male child. This symbolizes the law of the new Aeon of the Child Horus, which has supplanted that Aeon of the 'Dying God' which governed the world for two thousand years. Before him is the woman girt with a sword; she represents the Scarlet Woman in the hierarchy of the new Aeon. This symbolism is further carried out in the oriel where, behind the phallic headdress, the rose of five petals is in blossom.

"It is the aeon of Horus, of the Child. Though the face of the Hierophant appears benignant and smiling, and the child himself seems glad with wanton innocence, it is hard to deny that in the expression of the initiator is something mysterious, even sinister. He seems to be enjoying a very secret joke at somebody's expense. There is a distinctly sadistic aspect to this card; not unnaturally, since it derives from the Legend of Pasiphae, the prototype of all the legends of Bull-gods. These still presist in such religions as Shaivism, and (after multiple degradations) in Christianity itself."


THE HANGED MAN

"But water is the element of Illusion; one may regard this symbol as an evil legacy from the old Aeon; to use an anatomical analogy, it is a spiritual vermiform appendix.

"It was the water, and the Dwellers of the Water that slew Osiris; it is the
crocodiles that threaten Hoor-Pa-Kraat.

"''If ever things get bad like that again, in the new Dark Ages which appear to threaten, this is the way to put things right.'


POWER

"The Four, Chesed, shows the establishment of the Universe in three dimensions, that is, below the Abyss. The generating idea is exhibited in its full material sense. The card is ruled by the Sun in Capricornus, the Sign in which he is reborn. The disks are very large and solid; the suggestion of the card is that of a fortress. This represents Law and Order, maintained by constant authority and vigilance. The disks themselves are square; revolution is very opposite to the card; and they contain the signs of the Four Elements. For all that, they revolved; defence is valid only when violently active. So far as it appears stationary, it is the "dead centre" of the engineer; and Capricornus is the point at which the Sun "turns again Northward". The background is of deep azure, flecked yellow, suggesting a moat; but beyond this is a pattern of green and indigo to represent the guarded fields whose security is assured by the fortress."



STRIFE

"The symbol represents the wand of the Chief Adept, showing that the authority is derived from the superiors; were it not so, this card would be thoroughly disastrous. Moreover, there are also two wands of the Second, or Major Adept. They have the head of the Phoenix, which gives the idea of destruction (or rather purgation) through fire, and the resurrection of the energy from its ashes.

"There is also a pair of wands of the Third, or Minor, Adept, which are daughters, so to speak, of the wands in the Three of Wands. In this card there is the mitigating influence of the Mother. One of the most difficult doctrines with regard to Geburah is that, while it represents all this tameless irrational energy and disturbance, yet it derives from the benign and gentile influence of the feminine."


HERMIT

"This card is attributed to the letter Yod, which means the Hand. Hence, the hand, which is the tool or instrument par excellence, is in the centre of the picture. The letter Yod is the foundation of all the other letters of the Hebrew alphabet, which are merely combinations of it in various ways.

"The letter Yod is the first letter of the name Tetragrammaton, and this symbolizes the Father, who is Wisdom; he is the highest form of Mercury, and the Logos, the Creator of all worlds. Accordingly, his representitive in physical life is the spermatozoon; this is why the card is called The Hermit.

"The highest symbolism of this card is, therefore, Fertility in its most exalted sense, and this is reflected in the attribution of the card to the sign of Virgo, which is another aspect of the same quality. Virgo is an earthy sign, and is referred especially to Corn, so that the background of the card is a field of wheat.

"Virgo represents the lowest, most receptive, most feminine form of earth, and forms the crust over Hades. Yet not only is Virgo ruled by Mercury, but Mercury is exalted therein. Compare the Ten of Disks, and the general doctrine that the climax of the Descent into Matter is the signal for the redintegration by Spirit. It is the Formula of the Princess, the mode of fulfilment of the Great Work.

"This card recalls the Legend of Persephone, and herein is a dogma. Concealed within Mecury is a light which pervades all parts of the Universe equally; one of his titles is Psychopompos, the guide of the soul through the lower regions. …There is perfect Identity, not merely Equivalence, of the Extremes, the Manifestation, and the Method."


THE STAR

"This card is attributed to the letter Hé, as has been explained elsewhere. It refers to the Zodiacal sign of Aquarius, the water-bearer. The picture represents Nuith, our Lady of the Stars.

"The figure of the goddess is shown in manifestation, that is, not as the surrounding space of heaven, shown in Atu XX, where she is the pure philosophical idea continuous and omniform. In this card she is definitely personified as a human-seeming figure; she is represented as bearing two cups, one golden, held high above her head, from which she pours water upon it.

"The Universe is here resolved into its ultimate elements. (One is tempted to quote from the Vision of the Lake Pasquaney,

"Nothingness with twinkles . . . but what twinkles!") Behind the figure of the goddess is the celestial globe. Most prominent among its features is the seven-pointed Star of Venus, as if declaring the principal characteristic of her nature to be Love. From the golden cup she pours this ethereal water, which is also milk and oil and blood, upon her own head, indicating the eternal renewal of the categories, the inexhaustible possibililties of existence.

"Heaven itself is no more than a veil before the face of the immortal goddess.

"It is only in the lower cup that the forms of energy issuing forth show rectilinear characteristics. In this may be discovered the doctrine which asserts that the blindness of humanity to all the beauty and wonder of the Universe is due to this illusion of straightness.

"'At all my meetings with you shall the priestess say—and her eyes shall burn with desire as she stands bare and rejoicing in my secret temple—To me! To me! calling forth the flame of the hearts of all in her love-chant.

"'Sing the rapturous love-song unto me! Burn to me perfumes! Wear to me jewels! Drink to me, for I love you! I love you!

"'I am the blue-lidded daughter of Sunset; I am the naked brilliance of the voluptuous night-sky.

"'To me! To me!"


THE AEON

"The old card was called The Angel: or, The Last Judgment. It represented an Angel or Messenger blowing a trumpet, attached to which was a flag, bearing the Symbol of the Aeon of Osiris. Below him the graves were opening, the dead rising up. There were three of them. … At the beginning then, of this new Aeon, it is fit to exhibit the message of that angel who brought the news of the new Aeon to earth. The new card is thus of necessity an adaptation of the Stélé of Revealing.

"The time for the birth of an Aeon seems to be indicated by great concentration of political power with the accompanying improvements in the means of travel and communication, with a general advance in philosophy and science, with a general need of consolidation in religious thought."


All card descriptions by Aleister Crowley from The Book of Thoth.





Megadeth - Hanger 18 5:14 129 7/22/06 1:45 PM






CHAPTER LXXXVII

THE CHAPTER OF CHANGING INTO THE SERPENT SATA



THE CHAPTER OF MAKING THE TRANSFORMATION INTO THE SERPENT SATA. The Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, saith :—I am the serpent Sata whose years are infinite. I lie down dead. I am born daily. I am the serpent Sa-en-ta, the dweller in the uttermost parts of the earth. I lie down in death. I am born, I become new, I renew my youth every day.



CHAPTER LXXXVIII

THE CHAPTER OF CHANGING INTO THE CROCODILE-GOD



THE CHAPTER OF MAKING THE TRANSFORMATION INTO THE CROCODILE-GOD. The Osiris Ani, whose word is truth, saith :—I am the Crocodile-god who dwelleth amid his terrors. I am the Crocodile-god and I seize my prey like a ravening beast. I am the great Fish which is in Kamui. I am the Lord to whom bowings and prostrations are made in Sekhem. And the Osiris Ani is the lord to whom bowings and prostrations are made in Sekhem.

Behold, I am the dweller in his terrors, I am the crocodile, his firstborn. I bring prey from a distance. I am the Fish of Horus, the Great One in Kamui. I am the lord of bowings in Sekhem.




CHAPTER LXXXII

THE CHAPTER OF CHANGING INTO PTAH



THE CHAPTER OF MAKING THE TRANSFORMATION INTO PTAH. The Osiris Ani whose word is truth, saith :—I eat bread. I drink ale. I gird up my garments. I fly like a hawk. I cackle like the Smen goose. I alight upon that place hard by the Sepulchre on the festival of the Great God. That which is abominable, that which is abominable I will not eat. An abominable thing is filth, I will not eat thereof. That which is an abomination unto my KA shall not enter my body. I will live upon that whereon live the gods and the Spirit-souls. I shall live, and I shall be master of their cakes. I am master of them, and I shall eat them under the trees of the dweller in the House of Hathor, my Lady. I will make an offering. My cakes are in Tetu, my offerings are in Anu. I gird about myself the robe which is woven for me by the goddess Tait. I shall stand up and sit down in whatsoever place it pleaseth me to do so. My head is like unto that of Ra. I am gathered together like Tem.

[Here offer the four cakes of Ra, and the offerings of the earth.]

I shall come forth. My tongue is like that of Ptah, and my throat is like unto that of Hathor, and I remember the words of Tem, of my father, with my mouth. He forced the woman, the wife of Keb, breaking the heads near him ; therefore was the fear of him there. His praises are repeated with vigour. I am decreed to be the Heir, the lord of the earth of Keb. I have union with women. Keb hath refreshed me, and he hath caused me to ascend his throne. Those who dwell in Anu bow their heads to me. I am their Bull, I am stronger than the Lord of the hour. I unite with women. I am master for millions of years.


—from The Book of the Dead, edited by E.A. Wallis Budge.








Spahn Dirge (Live) 16:24 Skinny Puppy Rabies Electronica/Dance 65 8/13/06 2:18 PM
Friday, July 28th, 2006
7:04 am
[brthrn]
entry She's Calling You
The Hierophant—The Hanged Man
The Empress—2 of Wands: Dominion—The Star—9 of Wands: Strength—10 of Cups: Satiety—Ace of Swords
The Priestess




THE HIEROPHANT

"This symbolizes the pentagram, representing a dancing male child. This symbolizes the law of the new Aeon of the Child Horus, which has supplanted that Aeon of the 'Dying God' which governed the world for two thousand years. Before him is the woman girt with a sword; she represents the Scarlet Woman in the hierarchy of the new Aeon. This symbolism is further carried out in the oriel where, behind the phallic headdress, the rose of five petals is in blossom.

"It is the aeon of Horus, of the Child. Though the face of the Hierophant appears benignant and smiling, and the child himself seems glad with wanton innocence, it is hard to deny that in the expression of the initiator is something mysterious, even sinister. He seems to be enjoying a very secret joke at somebody's expense. There is a distinctly sadistic aspect to this card; not unnaturally, since it derives from the Legend of Pasiphae, the prototype of all the legends of Bull-gods. These still presist in such religions as Shaivism, and (after multiple degradations) in Christianity itself."


THE HANGED MAN

"But water is the element of Illusion; one may regard this symbol as an evil legacy from the old Aeon; to use an anatomical analogy, it is a spiritual vermiform appendix.

"It was the water, and the Dwellers of the Water that slew Osiris; it is the
crocodiles that threaten Hoor-Pa-Kraat.

"''If ever things get bad like that again, in the new Dark Ages which appear to threaten, this is the way to put things right.'




THE EMPRESS

"This card is attributed to the letter Daleth, which means a door, and it refers to the planet Venus. This card is, on the face of it, the complement of The Emperor; but her attributions are much more universal.

"In this card, she is shown in her most general manifestation. She combines the highest spiritual with the lowest material qualities. For this reason, she is fitted to represent one of the three alchemical forms of energy, Salt. Salt is the inactive principle of Nature; Salt is matter which must be energized by Sulphur to maintain the whirling equilibrium of the Universe.

"The heraldry of the Empress is two-fold: on the one side, the Pelican of tradition feeding its young from the blood of its own heart; on the other, the White Eagle of the Alchemist.

"At the back of the card is the Arch or Door, which is the interpretation of the letter Daleth. This card, summed up, may be called the Gate of Heaven. But, because of the beauty of the symbol, because of its omniform presentation, the studen who is dazzled by any given manifestation may be led astray. In no other card is it so necessary to disregard the parts, to concentrate upon the whole."



DOMINION

"This card, pertaining to Chokmah in the suit of Fire, represents the Will in its most exalted form. It is an ideal Will, independent of any given object.

"'For the pure will, unassuaged of purpose, delivered from the lust of result, is every way perfect.' AL. I.44.

"For destruction may be regarded as the first step in the creative process. The virgin ovum must be broken in order to fertilize it. Fear and repulsion are therefore the primary reaction to the assault. Then, with understanding of the complete plan, willing surrender rejoices to co-operate.

"Six flames issue from the centre. This indicates the influence of the Sun, who is exalted in Aries. This is the creative Will."


THE STAR

"This card is attributed to the letter Hé, as has been explained elsewhere. It refers to the Zodiacal sign of Aquarius, the water-bearer. The picture represents Nuith, our Lady of the Stars.

"The figure of the goddess is shown in manifestation, that is, not as the surrounding space of heaven, shown in Atu XX, where she is the pure philosophical idea continuous and omniform. In this card she is definitely personified as a human-seeming figure; she is represented as bearing two cups, one golden, held high above her head, from which she pours water upon it.

"The Universe is here resolved into its ultimate elements. (One is tempted to quote from the Vision of the Lake Pasquaney,

"Nothingness with twinkles . . . but what twinkles!") Behind the figure of the goddess is the celestial globe. Most prominent among its features is the seven-pointed Star of Venus, as if declaring the principal characteristic of her nature to be Love. From the golden cup she pours this ethereal water, which is also milk and oil and blood, upon her own head, indicating the eternal renewal of the categories, the inexhaustible possibililties of existence.

"Heaven itself is no more than a veil before the face of the immortal goddess.

"It is only in the lower cup that the forms of energy issuing forth show rectilinear characteristics. In this may be discovered the doctrine which asserts that the blindness of humanity to all the beauty and wonder of the Universe is due to this illusion of straightness.

"'At all my meetings with you shall the priestess say—and her eyes shall burn with desire as she stands bare and rejoicing in my secret temple—To me! To me! calling forth the flame of the hearts of all in her love-chant.

"'Sing the rapturous love-song unto me! Burn to me perfumes! Wear to me jewels! Drink to me, for I love you! I love you!

"'I am the blue-lidded daughter of Sunset; I am the naked brilliance of the voluptuous night-sky.

"'To me! To me!"


STRENGTH

"This card is referred to Yesod, the Foundation; this brings the Energy back into balance. The Nine represents always the fullest development of the Force in its relation with the Forces above it. The Nine may be considered as the best that can be obtained from the type involved, regarded from a practical and material standpoint."


SATIETY

"This card represents a conflicting element...

"The work proper to water is complete: and disturbance is due.

"This comes from the influence of Mars in Pisces. Mars is the gross, violent and disruptive force which inevitably attacks every supposed perfection. His energy displays the greatest possible contrast with that of Pisces, which is both peaceful and spiritualized."


ACE OF SWORDS

"In nature, the obvious symbol of Air is the Wind 'which bloweth whithersoever it listeth'. It lacks the concentrated Will of Fire to unite with Water: it has no corresponding passion for its Twin Element, Earth. There is indeed, a notable passivity in its nature; evidently, it has no self-generating impulse. But, set in motion by its Father and Mother, its power is manifestly terrific. It visibly attacks its objective, as they, being of subtler and more tenuous character, can never do. Its 'all-embracing, all wandering, all-penetrating, all-consuming' qualities have been described by many admirable writers, and its analogies are for the most part patent to quite ordinary observers.

"The Ruach is centred in the airy Sephira, Tephareth, who is the Son, the first-born of the Father, and the Sun, the first emanation of the creative Phallus. He derives directly from his mother Binah through the Path of Zain, the sublime intuitive sense, so that he partakes absolutely of the nature of Neschamah. From his father, Chokmah, he is informed though the Path of Hé, the Great Mother, the Star, our Lady Nuit, so that the creative impulse is communicated to him by all possibilities soever. Finally, from Kether, the supreme, descends directly upon him, though the Path of Gimel, the High Priestess, the triune light of Initiation. The Three-in-One, the Secret Mother in her polymorphous plenitude; these, these alone, hail him thrice blessed of the Supernals!"



THE PRIESTESS

"The card refers to the Moon. The Moon (being the general feminine symbol, the symbol of the second order corresponding to the Sun as the Yoni does to the Lingam) is universal, and goes from the highest to the lowest.

"This card represents the most spiritual form of Isis the Eternal Virgin; the Artemis of the Greeks. She is clothed in the luminous veil of light. It is important for high initiation to regard Light not as the perfect manifestation of the Eternal Spirit, but rather as the veil which hides that Spirit. It does so all the more effectively because of its incomparably dazzling brilliance. Thus she is light and the body of light. She is the truth behind the veil of light. She is the soul of light. Upon her knees is the bow of Artemis, which is also a musical instrument, for she is huntress, and hunts by enchantment.

"She is the idea behind all form; as soon as the influence of the triad descends below the Abyss, there is the completion of concrete idea.

"Thus far concerning this path, considered as issuing downwards from the Crown; but to the aspirant, that is, to the adept who is already in Tiphareth, to him who has attained to the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel, this is the path which leads upwards; and this card, in one system entitled the Priestess of the Silver Star, is symbolic of the thought (or rather of the intelligible radiance) of that Angel. It is, in short, a symbol of the highest Initiation. Now it is a condition of Initiation that its keys are to be communicated by those who possess them to all true aspirants."


All card descriptions by Aleister Crowley from The Book of Thoth.








Send Me Your Money 3:24 Suicidal Tendencies Lights... Camera... Revolution! Alternative & Punk 85 7/25/06 10:18 AM








CHAPTER OF PRAISES AND GLORIFYINGS, AND OF COMING FORTH BY DAY



HERE BEGIN THE PRAISES AND GLORIFYINGS OF COMING OUT FROM AND OF GOING INTO THE GLORIOUS KHERT-NETER, WHICH IS IN THE BEAUTIFUL AMENTET, OF COMING FORTH BY DAY IN ALL THE FORMS OF EXISTENCE WHICH IT MAY PLEASE THE DECEASED TO TAKE, OF PLAYING AT DRAUGHTS, OF SITTING IN THE SEH HALL, AND OF APPEARING AS A LIVING SOUL :

The Osiris the scribe Ani saith after he hath arrived in his haven of rest—now it is good for [a man] to recite this work whilst he is upon earth, for then all the words of Tem come to pass—

" I am the god Tem in rising. I am the Only One.

" I came into existence in Nu. I am Ra who rose in the beginning, the ruler of this creation."

Who is this?

" It is Ra, when at the beginning he rose in the city of Hensu, crowned like a king for his coronation. The Pillars of the god Shu were not as yet created, when he was upon the steps of him that dwelleth in Khemenu.

" I am the Great God who created himself, even Nu, who made his names to become the Company of the Gods as gods."

Who is this?

" It is Ra, the creator of the names of his limbs, which came into being in the form of the gods who are in the train of Ra.

" I am he who cannot be repulsed among the gods."

Who is this?

" It is Temu, the dweller in his disk, but others say that it is Ra when he riseth in the eastern horizon of the sky.

" I am Yesterday, I know To-day."

Who is this?

" Yesterday is Osiris, and To-day is Ra, when he shall destroy the enemies of Neb-er-tcher, and when he shall establish as prince and ruler his son Horus.

" Others, however, say that To-day is Ra, on the day when we commemorate the festival of the meeting of the dead Osiris with his father Ra, and when the battle of the gods was fought, in which Osiris, the Lord of Amentet, was the leader."

What is this?

" It is Amentet, that is to say the creation of the souls of the gods when Osiris was leader in Set-Amentet.

" Others, however, say that it is the Amentet which Ra hath given unto me ; when any god cometh he must rise up and fight for it.

" I know the god who dwelleth therein."

Who is this?

" It is Osiris. Others, however, say that his name is Ra, and that the god who dwelleth in Amentet is the phallus of Ra, wherewith he had union with himself.

" I am the Benu bird which is in Anu. I am the keeper of the volume of the book of the things which have been made, and of the things which shall be made."

Who is this?

" It is Osiris.

" Others, however, say that it is the dead body of Osiris, and yet others say that it is the excrement of Osiris. The things which have been made, and the things which shall be made refer to the dead body of Osiris. Others again say that the things which have been made are Eternity, and the things which shall be made are Everlastingness, and that Eternity is the Day, and Everlastingness the Night.

" I am the god Menu in his coming forth ; may his two plumes be set on my head for me."

Who is this?

" Menu is Horus, the Advocate of his father Osiris, and his coming forth means his birth. The two plumes on his head are Isis and Nephthys, when these goddesses go forth and set themselves thereon, and when they act as his protectors, and when they provide that which his head lacketh.

" Others, however, say that the two plumes are the two exceedingly large uraei which are upon the head of their father Tem, and there are yet others who say that the two plumes which are upon the head of Menu are his two eyes.

" The Osiris the scribe Ani, whose word is true, the registrar of all the offerings which are made to the gods, riseth up and cometh into his city."

What is this city?

" It is the horizon of his father Tem.

" I have made an end of my shortcomings, and I have put away my faults."

What is this?

" It is the cutting of the navel string of the body of the Osiris the scribe Ani, whose word is true before all the gods, and all his faults are driven out."

What is this?

" It is the purification of Osiris on the day of his birth.

" I am purified in my great double nest which is in Hensu on the day of the offerings of the followers of the Great God who dwelleth therein."

What is the " great double nest" ?

" The name of one nest is ' Millions of years,' and ' Great Green Sea' is the name of the other, that is to say ' Lake of Natron' and ' Lake of Salt.'

" Others, however, say the name of the one is ' Guide of Millions of Years,' and that ' Great Green Lake' is the name of the other. Yet others say that ' Begetter of Millions of Years' is the name of one, and ' Great Green Lake' is the name of the other. Now, as concerning the Great God who dwelleth therein, it is Ra himself.

" I pass over the way, I know the head of the Island of Maati."

What is this ?

" It is Ra-stau, that is to say, it is the gate to the South of Nerutef, and it is the Northern Gate of the Domain.

" Now as concerning the Island of Maati it is Abtu.

" Others, however, say that it is the way by which Father Tem travelleth when he goeth forth to Sekhet-Aaru, the place which produceth the food and sustenance of the gods who are in their shrines.

" Now the Gate Tchesert is the Gate of the Pillars of Shu, that is to say, the Northern Gate of the Tuat.

" Others, however, say that the Gate of Tchesert is the two leaves of the door through which the god Tem passeth when he goeth forth to the eastern horizon of the sky.

" O ye gods who are in the presence of Osiris, grant to me your arms, for I am the god who shall come into being among you."

Who are these gods ?

" They are the drops of blood which came forth from the phallus of Ra when he went forth to perform his own mutilation. These drops of blood sprang into being under the forms of the gods Hu and Sa, who are in the bodyguard of Ra, and who accompany the god Tem daily and every day.

" I, Osiris the scribe Ani, whose word is truth, have filled for thee the
utchat</i> when it had suffered extinction on the day of the combat of the Two Fighters."

What was this combat ?

" It was the combat which took place on the day when Horus fought with Set, during which Set threw filth in the face of Horus, and Horus crushed the genitals of Set. The filling of the </i>utchat Thoth performed with his own fingers.

" I remove the thunder-cloud from the sky when there is a storm with thunder and lightning therein."

What is this ?

" This storm was raging of Ra at the thunder-cloud which Set sent forth against the Right Eye of Ra. Thoth removed the thunder-cloud from the Eye of Ra, and brought back the Eye living, healthy, sound, and with no defects in it to its own.

" Others, however, say that the thunder-cloud is caused by sickness in the Eye of Ra, which weepeth for its companion Eye, the Moon ; at this time Thoth cleanseth the Right Eye of Ra.

" I behold Ra who was born yesterday from the thighs of the goddess Mehurt ; his strength is my strengthy, and my strength is his strength."

Who is this ?

" Mehurt is the great Celestial Water, but others say that Mehurt is the image of the Eye of Ra at dawn at his birth daily.

" Others, however, say that Mehurt is the
utchat of Ra.

" Now Osiris the scribe Ani, whose word is truth, is a very great one among the gods who are in the following of Horus ; they say that he is the prince who loveth his lord."

Who are the gods who are in the train of Horus ?

" They are Kesta, Hapi, Tuamutef, and Qebhsenuf.

" Homage to you, O ye lords of right and truth, ye sovereign princes who stand round about Osiris, who do away utterly sins and offences, and who are in the following of the goddess Hetepsekhus, grant ye that I may come unto you. Destroy ye all the faults which are within me, even as ye did for the Seven Spirits who are among the followers of their lord Sepa. Anpu appointed to them their places on the day when he said unto them, 'Come ye hither.'"

Who are the " lords of right and truth" ?

" The lords of right and truth are Thoth and Astes, the Lord of Amentet.

" The Tchatcha round about Osiris are Kesta, Hapi, Tuamutef, and Qebhsenuf, and they are also round about the Constellation of the Thigh in the northern sky.

" Those who do away utterly sins and offences, and who are in the following of the goddess Hetepsekhus, are the god Sebek and his associates who dwell in the water.

" The goddess Hetepsekhus is the Eye of Ra.

" Others, however, say that it is the flame which accompanieth Osiris to burn up the souls of his enemies.

" As concerning all the faults which are in Osiris, the registrar of the offerings which are made unto all the gods, Ani, whose word is truth, these are all the offences which he hath committed against the Lords of Eternity since he came forth from his mother's womb.

" As concerning the Seven Spirits who are Kesta, Hapi, Tuamutef, Qebhsenuf, Maa-atef, Kheribeqef, and Heru-khenti-en-ariti, these did Anubis appoint to be protectors of the dead body of Osiris.

" Others, however, say that he set them round about the holy place of Osiris.

" Others say that the Seven SPirits which were appointed by Anubis were Netcheh-netcheh, Aatqetqet, Nertanef-besef-khenti-hehf, Aq-her-per-em-khetkhet, and Maaem-kerh-annef-em-hru.

" The chief of the Tchatcha who is in Naarutef is Horus, the Advocate of his father.

" As concerning the day wherein Anubis said to the Seven Spirits, 'Come ye hither,' the allusion here is to the words 'Come ye hither,' which Ra spake unto Osiris."

Verily may these same words be said unto me in Amentet.

" I am the Divine Soul which dwelleth in the Divine Twin-gods."

Who is this Divine Soul ?

" It is Osiris. When he goeth into Tetu and findeth there the Soul of Ra, the one god embraceth the other, and two Divine Souls spring into being within the Divine Twin-Gods."

" As concerning the Divine Twin-gods they are Heru-netch-her-tefef and Heru-khent-en-Ariti, Horus the Advocate of his father Osiris, and Horus the sightless.

" Others say that the double Divine Soul which dwelleth in the Divine Twin-gods is the Soul of Ra and the Soul of Osiris, and yet others say that it is the Soul which dwelleth in Shu, and the Soul which dwelleth in Tefnut, and that these two Souls form the double Divine Soul which dwelleth in Tetu.

" I am the Cat which fought near the Persea Tree in Anu on the night when the foes of Neb-er-tcher were destroyed."

Who is this Cat ?

" This male Cat is Ra himself, and he was called 'Mau ' because of the speech of the god Sa, who said concerning him : ' He is like unto that which he hath made' ; therefore did the name of Ra become ' Mau.'

" Others, however, say that the male Cat is the god Shu, who made over the possessions of Keb to Osiris.

" As concerning the fight which took place near the Persea Tree in Anu, these words have reference to the slaughter of the children of rebellion, when righteous retribution was meted out to them for the evil which they had done.

" As to concern the ' night of the battle,' these words refer to the invasion of the eastern portion of the heaven by the children of rebellion, whereupon a great battle arose in heaven and in all the earth.

" O thou who art in thine egg, who showest from thy Disk, who risest on thy horizon, and dost shine with golden beams in the height of heaven, like unto whom there is none among the gods, who sailest above the Pillars of Shu, who sendest forth blasts of fire from thy mouth, who illuminest the Two Lands with thy splendour, deliver thou Nebseni, the lord of fealty to Osiris, from the god whose form is hidden, and whose eyebrows are like unto the two arms of the Balance on the night when the sentences of doom are promulgated."

Who is this invisible god ?

" It is An-a-f.

"As concerning ' the night when the sentences of doom are promulgated,' it is the night of the burning of the damned, and of the overthrow of the wicked at the Block, and of the slaughter of souls."

Who is this slaughterer of souls ?

" Concerning the invisible god some say that he is Aapep when he riseth up with a head bearing upon it the feather of Maat, Truth. But others say that he is Horus when he riseth up with two heads, whereon one beareth the feather of Maat, and the other the symbol of wickedness. He bestoweth wickedness on him that worketh wickedness, and right and truth upon him that followeth righteousness and truth.

" Others say that he is Heru-ur, the Old Horus, who dwelleth in Sekhem ; others say that he is Thoth ; others say that he is Nefer-Tem ; and others say that he is Sept who doth bring to nought the acts of the foes of Nebertcher.

" Deliver thou the scribe Nebseni, whose word is truth, from the Watchers, who carry murderous knives, who possess cruel fingers, and who would slay those who are in the following of Osiris."

May these Watchers never gain the mastery over me, and may I never fall under their knives !

Who are these Watchers ?

" They are Anubis and Horus, the latter being in the form of Horus the sightless. Others, however, say that they are the Tchatcha who bring to nought the operations of their knives ; and others say that they are the chiefs of the Sheniu chamber.

" May their knives never gain the mastery over me. May I never fall under the knives wherewith they inflict cruel tortures. For I know their names, and I know the being, Matchet, who is among them in the House of Osiris. He shooteth forth rays of light from his eye, being himself invisible, and he goeth round about heaven robed in the flames which come from his mouth, commanding Hapi, but remaining invisible himself. May I be strong on earth before Ra, may I arrive safely in the presence of Osiris. O ye who preside over your altars, let not your offerings to me be wanting, for I am one of those who follow after Nebertcher, according to the writings of Khepera. Let me fly like a hawk, let me cackle like a goose, let me slay always like the serpent-goddess Neheb-ka."

Who are those who preside over the alters ?

" Those who preside over their altars are the similitude of the Eye of Ra, and the similitude of the Eye of Horus.

" O Ra-Tem, thou Lord of the Great House in Anu, thou Sovereign life, strength, health be to thee of all the gods, deliver thou the scribe Nebseni, whose word is truth, from the god whose face is like unto that of a greyhound, whose brows are like those of a man, who feedeth upon the death, who watcheth at the Bend of the Lake of Fire, who devoureth the bodies of the dead, and swalloweth hearts, and who voideth filth, but who himself remaineth unseen."

Who is this greyhound-faced god ?

" His name is ' Everlasting Devourer,' and he liveth in the Domain of Fire.

" As concerning the Domain of Fire, it is that Aat which is in Naarutef, and is near the Sheniu chamber. The sinner who walketh over this place falleth down among the knives of the Watchers.

" Others, however, say that the name of this god is ' Mates,' and that he keepeth watch over the door of Amentet ; others say that his name is ' Beba,' and that he keepeth watch over the Bend of the stream of Amentet, and yet others say that his name is ' Herisepef.'

" Hail, Lord of Terror, Chief of the Lands of the South and North, thou Lord of the Desert, who doest keep prepared the block of slaughter, and who doest feed on the intestines of men !"

Who is this Lord of Terror ?

" It is the Keeper of the Bend of the stream of Amentet."

Who is this Keeper ?

" It is the Heart of Osiris, which is the devourer of all slaughtered things.

" The Urrt Crown hath been given unto him, with gladness of heart, as Lord of Hensu."

Who is this ?

" He to whom the Urrt Crown hath been given with gladness of heart as Lord of Hensu is Osiris. He was bidden to rule among the gods on the day of the union of earth with earth in the presence of Nebertcher."

Who is this ?

" He who was bidden to rule among the gods is the son of Isis, Horus, who was appointed to rule in the room of his father Osiris.

" As concerning the words ' day of the union of earth with earth,' they have reference to the union of earth in the coffin of Osiris, the Soul that liveth in Hensu, the giver of meat and drink, the destroyer of wrong, and the guide to the everlasting paths."

Who is this ?

" It is Ra himself."

" Deliver thou the Osiris the scribe Ani, whose word is truth from the great god who carrieth away souls, who eateth hearts, who feedeth upon offal, who keepeth watch in the darkness, who dwelleth in the Seker Boat ; those who live in sin fear him."

Who is this ?

" It is Suti, but others say it is Smamur, the soul of Keb.

" Hail, Khepera in thy boat, the two Companies of the Gods are in thy body. Deliver thou the Osiris the scribe Ani, whose word is truth, from the Watchers who pass sentences of doom, who have been appointed by the god Nebertcher to protect him, and to fasten the fetters on his foes, and who slaughter in the torture chambers ; there is no escape from their fingers. May they never stab me with their knives, may I never fall helpless into their chambers of torture. I have never done the things which the gods hate. I am he who is pure in the Mesqet chamber. And saffron cakes have been brought unto him in Tannt."

Who is this ?

" It is Khepera in his boat ; it is Ra himself.

" As concerning the Watchers who pass sentences of doom, they are the Apes Isis and Nephthys.

" As concerning the things which the gods hate, they are acts of deceit and lying. He who passeth through the place of purification within the Mesqet chamber is Anpu, who is hard by the coffer which containeth the inward parts of Osiris. He to whom saffron cakes have been brought in in Tannt is Osiris.

" Others, however, say that the saffron cakes in Tannt represent heaven and earth, and others say that they represent Shu, the strengthener of the Two Lands in Hensu ; and others say that they represent the Eye of Horus, and that Tannt is the burial-place of Osiris.

" Tem hath builded thy house, and the double Lion-god hath laid the foundations of thy habitation. Lo ! medicaments have been brought. Horus purifieth Set and Set strengtheneth, and Set purifieth and Horus strengtheneth.

" The Osiris the scribe Ani, whose word is truth before Osiris, hath come into this land, and he hath taken possession thereof with his two feet. He is Tem, and he is in the city.

" Turn thou back, O Rehu, whose mouth shineth, whose head moveth, turn thou back before his strength. Let the Osiris Ani be safely guarded. He is Isis, and he is found with her hair spread over him ; it is shaken out over his brow. He was conceived by Isis, and engendered by Nephthys, and they have cut away from him the things which should be cut from him.

" Fear followeth after thee, terror is about thine arms. Thou hast been embraced for millions of years by arms ; mortals go round about thee. Thou smitest down the mediators of thy foes, and thou seizest the arms of the powers of darkness. Thy two sisters, Isis and Nephthys, are given to thee for thy delight. Thou hast created that which is in Kher-aha, and that which is in Anu. Every god feareth thee, for thou art exceedingly great and terrible ; thou avengest every god on the man who curseth him, and thou shootest arrows at him. Thou livest according to thy will. Thou art Uatchet, the Lady of Flame, evil befalleth those who set themselves up against thee."

What is this ?

" ' Hidden in form, given of Menhu,' is the name of the tomb. ' He who seeth what is on his hand' is the name of Qerau, or, as others say, it is the name of the Block.

" Now, he whose mouth shineth and whose head moveth is the phallus of Osiris, but others say it is the phallus of Ra. ' Thou spreadest thy hair, and I shake it out over his brow' is said concerning Isis, who hideth in her hair, and draweth it round about her.

" Uatchet, the Lady of Flames, is the Eye of Ra."


—from The Book of the Dead as translated by E. A. Wallis Budge.








H P Lovecraft - The Lurking Fear - 1 of 2 32:15 Classical 7 6/27/06 5:45 AM
Monday, July 24th, 2006
2:21 pm
[brthrn]
entry By the Way
Human life and its innumerable difficulties have for object, in the ordination of eternal wisdom, the education of the will of man.


The empire of the world is the empire of the light.


A chain of iron is easier to break than a chain of flowers.


The beauty of the word is a splendour of truth. A true word is always beautiful, a beautiful word is always true.

For this reason works of art are always holy when they are beautiful.


Poetry is as pure as the Sun : it spreads its veil of light over the errors of humanity. Woe to him who would lift the veil in order to perceive things ugly !


One realizes evil in books of morality ill-written far more than in the poetry of Catullus or the ingenious Allegories of Apuleius.

There are no bad books, except those which are badly conceived and badly executed.

Every word of beauty is a word of truth. It is light crystallized in speech.


All magic is in a word, and the word pronounced qabalistically is stronger than all the powers of Heaven, Earth and Hell. With the name of Jod hé vau hé, one commands Nature : kingdoms are conquered in the name of Adonai, and the occult forces which compose the empire of Hermés are one and all obedient to him who knows how to pronounce duly the incummunicable name of Agla.


The most fatal enemy of our souls is idleness. Inertia intoxicates us and sends us to sleep ; but the sleep of inertia is corruption and death. The faculties of the human soul are like the waves of the ocean. To keep them sweet, they need the salt and bitterness of tears : they need the whirlwinds of Heaven : they need to be shaken by the storm.


We all of us breathe in the life of others, and we breathe upo them in some sort a part of our own existence. Good and intelligent men are, unknown to themselves, the doctors of humanity ; foolish and wicked men are public poisoners.


Whatever the reputation of any one may be, and whatever may be the testimonies of friendship that that person may give you, if, on leaving him, you feel yourself less well disposed and weaker, he is pernicious for you: avoid him.


“ The stars,” said Paracelsus, “ breathe out their luminous soul, and attract each other’s radiation. The soul of the earth, prisoner of the fatal laws of gravitation, frees itself by specializing itself, and passes through the instinct of animals to arrive at the intelligence of man. The active portion of this will is dumb, but it preserves in writing the secrets of Nature. The free part can no longer read this fatal writing without instantaneously losing its liberty. One does not pass from dumb and vegetative contemplation to free vibrating thought without changing one’s surroundings and one’s organs. Thence comes the forgetfulness which accompanies birth, and the vague reminiscences of our sickly intuitions, always analogous to the visions of our ecstasies and our dreams.”


But when the brute governs brutes, when the blind leads the blind, when the leader is as subject to fatality as the masses, what must one expect? What but the most shocking catastrophes? In that we shall never be disappointed.


The abysses of grace correspond to the abysses of perversity. God has often made saints of scoundrels ; but He has never done anything with the half-hearted and the cowardly.


A man whom one may call the great prophet of drunkards, Edgar Poe, that sublime madman, that genius of lucid extravagance, has depicted with terrifying reality the nightmares of perversity. …


“ If God did away with Hell, men would make another in order to defy Him,” said a good priest to us one day. He was right : and it is for that reason that Hell is so anxious to be done away with. Emancipation ! is the cry of every vice. Emancipation of murder by the abolition of the pain of death ; emancipation of prostitution and infanticide by the abolition of marriage ; emancipation of idleness and rapine by the abolition of property. … So revolves the whirlwind of perversity until it arrives at this supreme and secret formula : Emancipation of death by the abolition of life !


This war is as ancient as the world; the Greeks figured it under the symbols of Eros and Anteros, and the Hebrews by the antagonism of Cain and Abel. It is the war of the Titans and the Gods. The two armies are everywhere invisible, disciplined and always ready for attack or counter-attack. Simple-minded folk on both sides, astonished at the instant and unanimous resistance that they meet, begin to believe in vast plots cleverly organized, in hidden, all-powerful societies. Eugène Sue invents Rodin ; churchmen talk of the Illuminati and of the Freemasons ; Wronski dreams of his bands of mystics, and there is nothing true and serious beneath all that but the necessary struggle of order and disorder, of the instincts and of thought ; the result of that struggle is balance in progress, and the devil always contributes, despite himself, to the glory of St. Michael.


To escape this fatality, really great men isolate themselves from all comradeship, knowing it to be death to liberty. They save themselves by a proud unpopularity from the contamination of the vile multitude. If Balzac had been during his life a man of a clique or of a party, he would not have remained after his death the great and universal genius of our epoch.


Genius contemplates truth as its work because it is the victor of light, and immortality is the triumph of light because it will be the recompense and crown of genius.


What you have been taking for life is but the hallucinations and the dreams of the first slumber of death !


God, in order to exalt man to moral emancipation, hides Himself from him and abandons to him, after a fashion, the government of the world. He leaves Himself to be guessed by the grandeurs and harmonies of Nature, so that man may progressively make himself perfect by ever exalting the idea that he makes for himself of its author.


TO CREATE GOD, TO CREATE ONE’S SELF, TO MAKE ONE’S SELF INDEPENDENT, IMMORTAL AND WITHOUT SUFFERING : there certainly is a programme more daring than the dream of Prometheus. Its expression is bold to the point of impiety, its thought ambitious to the point of madness. Well, this programme is only paradoxical in its form, which lends itself to a false and sacrilegious interpretation. In one sense it is perfectly reasonable, and the science of the adepts promises to realize it, and to accomplish it in perfection.

Man, in effect, creates for himself a God corresponding to his own intelligence and his own goodness ; he cannot raise his ideal high than his moral development permits him to do. The God whom he adores is always an enlargement of his own reflection. To conceive the absolute of goodness and justice is to be one’s self exceeding just and good.


Yes, man is called to complete the work of his creator, and every instant employed by him to improve himself or to destroy himself, is decisive for all eternity. It is by the conquest of an intelligence eternally clear and of a will eternally just, that he constitutes himself as living for eternal life, since nothing survives injustice and error but the penalty of their disorder. To understand good is to will it, and on the plane of justice to will is to do.


One can reign in Heaven by virtue of faith, on earth by virtue of science. The man who knows how to command himself is king of all Nature.


If you are a dog, and you want a pretty little cat to love you, you have only one means to take : to metamorphose yourself into a cat.


In one of the admirable stories which, though he did not invent it, he has told better than anybody, Perrault puts upon the stage a cat, which cunningly induces an ogre to change himself into a mouse, and the thing is no sooner done, than the mouse is crunched by the cat. The Tales of Mother Goose, like the Golden Ass of Apuleius, are perhaps true magical legends, and hide beneath the cloak of childish fairy tales the formidable secrets of science.


But no metamorphosis may be worked without destruction. To change a hawk into a dove, one must first kill it, then cut it to pieces, so as to destroy even the least trace of its first form, and then boil it in the magic bath of Medea.


It is not the hashish intoxication which was useful to the knavery of the Old Man of the Mountain ; it is a dream without sleep, an hallucination without madness, a reasoned and willed vision, a real creation of intelligence and faith.


The great magical means of preserving the youth of the body is to prevent the soul from growing old by preserving preciously that original freshness of sentiments and thoughts which the corrupt world calls illusions, and which we shall call the primitive mirages of eternal truth.


Become children in heart, and you will remain young in body.


High magic, as we have proved, leads man back to the laws of the purest morality. Either he finds a thing holy or makes it holy, says an adept—Vel sanctum invenit, vel sanctum facit ; because it makes us understand that in order to be happy, even in this world, one must be holy.


What contributes above all to age us by making us ugly? Hatred and bitterness, the unfavourable judgments which we make of others, our rages of hurt vanity, and our ill-satisfied passions. A kindly and gentle philosophy would avoid all these evils.


Suffering is always a warning. So much the worse for him who does not understand it ! When Nature tightens the rein, it is that we are swerving ; when she plies the whip, it is that danger is imminent. Woe, then, to him who does not reflect !


During embryonic life it seemed to it that the placenta was its body, and it was in fact its special embryonic body, a body useless for another life, a body which had to be thrown off as an unclean thing at the moment of birth.

The body of our human life is like a second envelope, useless for the third life, and for that reason we throw it aside at the moment of our second birth.


The great arcanum—that is to say, the unutterable and inexplicable secret—is the absolute knowledge of good and of evil.


One will thus recognize that the divine revelation is permanent in nature and humanity.…


—Eliphas Levi from “The Key of the Mysteries (La Clef des Grands Mystéres)” , translated by Aleister Crowley, as found in The Equinox, Vol. 1, No. 10.
Sunday, July 23rd, 2006
12:45 pm
[brthrn]
entry Living Dead Girl
This light is the common mirror of all thoughts and all forms ; it preserves the images of everything that has been, the reflections of past worlds, and, by analogy, the sketches of worlds to come.


“ A single source, a single root of light, jets out and spreads itself into three branches of splendour. A breath blows round the earth, and vivifies in innumerable forms all parts of animated substance.” (HYMN II—Synesius.)


Sleep is incomplete death ; death is complete sleep.


For all ideas have a double significance for us, relating to our double life.

There exists a language of sleep ; in the waking state it is impossible to understand it, or even to order its words.

The language of slumber is that of nature, hieroglyphic in its character, and rhythmical in its sounds.


A shallop sways upon the shores of the lake. The child enters the water, which, shining with a thousand reflections, dances around him and calls him ; the chain which retains the boat stretches and seems to wish to break itself ; then a marvellous bird shoots out from the bank, and skims, singing, upon the joyous waves ; the child wishes to follow it, he puts his hand upon the chain, he detaches the ring.


The sacred love, the virginal love, the love which is stronger than the tomb, seeks only devotion, and flies in terror before the egoism of desire. Orpheus knows it ; but, for an instant, he forgets it. Eurydice, in her white bridal dress, lies upon the marriage bed ; he wears the vestments of Grand Hierophant, he stands upright, his lyre in his hand, his head crowned with the sacred laurel, his eyes turned towards the East, and he sings. He sings of the luminous arrows of love that traverse the shadows of old Chaos, the waves of soft, clear light, flowing from the black teats of the mother of the gods, from which hang the two children, Eros and Anteros. He says the song of Adonis returning to life in answer to the complaint of Venus, reviving like a flower under the shining dew of her tears ; the song of Castor and Pollux, whom death could not divide, and who love alternately in hell and upon earth.…


The vulgar are always deceived about magic, and confuse adepts with enchanters. True magic, that is to say, the traditional science of the magi, is the mortal enemy of enchantment ; it prevents, or makes to cease, sham miracles, hostile to the light, that fascinate a small number of prejudiced or credulous witnesses. The apparent disorder in the laws of Nature is a lie : it is not then a miracle. The true miracle, the true prodigy always flaming in the yes of all, is the ever constant harmony of effect and cause ; these are the splendours of eternal order !


“I woke up suddenly,” said he, “ upon one o’clock in the morning. In front of my bed I saw a bright light, and in this light a shadowy arm which passed and repassed before me, as if to magnetize me. Then I went to sleep again, and some instants afterwards, waking anew, I saw again the same light, but it had changed its place. It had passed from left to right, and upon a luminous background I distinguished the silhouette of a man who was looking at me with his arms crossed.”


After the cross, accompanied by its acolytes, and followed by the choirboys, came the banner of St. Geneviève ; then, waling in double file, came the lady devotees of St. Geneviève, clothed in black, with a white veil on the head, a blue ribbon around the neck, with the medal of the legend, a taper in the hand, surmounted by the little gothic lantern that tradition gives to the images of the saint. For, in the old books, St. Geneviève is always represented with a medal on her neck, that which St. Germain D’Auxerre gave her, and holding a taper, which the devil tries to extinguish, but which is protected from the breath of the unclean spirit by a miraculous little tabernacle.


But in order to communicate with the phantom of absolute evil, to realize that phantom to the point of seeing and touching it, is it not necessary to be without conscience and without judgment?


A man capable of evoking the devil, according to the rites of the grimoire of Honorius, has gone so far upon the road of evil that he is disposed to all kinds of hallucinations, and all lies. So, Verger slept in blood, to dream of I know not what abominable pantheon ; and he awoke upon the scaffold.


“ Why the devil ?”

Because we have demonstrated by facts what Mr. de Mirville had, before us, incompletely set forth.

We say “ incompletely” ; because the devil is, for Mr. de Mirville, a fantastic personage, while for us, it is the misuse of a natural force.

A medium once said : “ Hell is not a place, it is a state.”

We shall be able to add : “ The devil is not a person or a force ; it is a vice, and in consequence, a weakness.”


All the dogmas of true religion are written in the Qabalah in characters of light upon a page of shadow.


The alliance of the soul and the body is a marriage of light and shadow.


Light, shadow, and their harmony, which is the vision of beings, form the principle analogous to the great dogmas of Trinity, of Incarnation, and of Redemption.


In all symbolisms, in fact, we find ideas of antagonism and of harmony producing a trinitarian notion in the conception of divinity, following which the mythological personification of the four cardinal points of heaven completes the sacred septenary, the base of all dogmas and of all rites.


“ In the beginning (IOD the unity of being,) Elohim, the equilibrated forces (Jakin and Boaz), created the heaven (spirit) and the earth (matter), or in other words, good and evil, affirmation and negation.” Thus begins the Mosaic account of creation.

Then, when it comes to giving a place to man, and a sanctuary to his alliance with divinity, Moses speaks of a garden, in the midst of which a single fountain branched into four rivers (the IOD and the TETRAGRAM) , and then two trees, one of life, and the other of death, planted near the river. There are placed the man and the woman, the active and the passive ; the woman sympathizes with death, and draws Adam with her in her fall. They are then driven out from the sanctuary of truth, and a kerub (a bull-headed sphinx, vide the hieroglyphs of Assyria, of India and of Egypt) is placed at the gate of the garden of truth in order to prevent the profane from destroying the tree of life. Here we have mysterious dogma, with all its allegories and its terrors, replacing the simplicity of truth. The idol has replaced God, and fallen humanity will not delay to give itself up to the worship of the golden calf.


The Emperor Julian, that adept of the spirit who was never understood, that initiate whose paganism was less idolatrous than the faith of certain Christians, the Emperor Julian, we say, understand better than Dupuis and Volney the symbolic worship of the sun. In his hymn to the king, Helios, he recognizes that the star of day is but the reflection and the material shadow of that sun of truth which illumines the world of intelligence, and which is itself only a light borrowed from the Absolute.


For the sage who understands the analogies of the transcendental Qabalah, and the exact relation of ideas with signs, this fabulous country of the fairies is a country still fertile to discoveries ; for those truths which are too beautiful, or too simple to please men, without any veil, have all been hidden in these ingenious shadows.


To say a word is to evoke a thought and make it present. To name God is to manifest God.


Things are for every one what he makes of them by naming them. The word of every one is an impression or an habitual prayer.


An immense physical secret was, moreover, hidden under the qabalistic parables of the ancients.


The disciple does not become the living realization of the thoughts of the Master until he has drunk his blood and eaten his flesh, to use the energetic and allegorical expression of the initiator, so ill understood by Christians.


“What do you wish ?” they asked the candidate in every initiation : “ To see the light,” should be their answer. The name of illuminati which one ordinarily gives to adepts, has then been generally very badly interpreted by giving to it a mystical sense, as if it signified men whose intelligence believes itself to be lighted by a miraculous day. ‘ Illuminati’ means simply, knowers and possessors of the light, either by the knowledge of the great magical agent, or by the rational and ontological notion of the absolute.


The devil, then, exists really enough for the qabalists ; but it is neither a person nor a distinguished power of even the forces of Nature. The devil is dispersion, or the slumber of intelligence. It is madness and falsehood.


Baphomet, pantheistic figure of the universal agent, is nothing else than the bearded devil of the alchemists. One knows that the members of the highest grades in the old hermetic masonry attributed to a bearded demon the accomplishment of the Great Work. At this word, the vulgar hastened to cross themselves, and to hid their eyes, but the initiates of the cult of Hermes-Pantheos understood the allegory, and were very careful not to explain it to the profane.


Every man, in order to be a God, first makes himself a devil ; but as the law of solidarity is universal, the hierarchy exists in hell as it does in heaven.


How many poltroons and cowards think themselves virtuous because they are afraid to be otherwise !


Boldness united to intelligence is the mother of all successes in this world. To undertake, one must know ; to accomplish, one must will ; to will really, one must dare ; and in order to gather in peace the fruits of one’s audacity, one must keep silent.


In dreams, we have the consciousness of the universal life ; we mingle ourselves with water, fire, air, and earth ; we fly like birds ; we climb like squirrels ; we crawl like serpents ; we are intoxicated with astral light ; we plunge into the common reservoir, as it happens in a more complete manner in death ; but then (and it is thus that Paracelsus explains the mysteries of the other life) the wicked, that is to say, those who have allowed themselves to be dominated by the instincts of the brute to the prejudice of human reason, are drowned in the ocean of the common life with all the anguish of eternal death ; the others swim upon it, and enjoy for ever the riches of that fluid gold which they have succeeded in dominating.


The universal light is like the divine imagination, and this world, which changes ceaselessly, yet ever remaining the same with regard to the laws of its configuration, is the vast dream of God.


There exists a dogma, there exists a key, this tradition is transcendental magic. There only are found the absolute of knowledge and the eternal bases of law, guardian against all madness, all superstition and all error, the Eden of the intelligence, the ease of the heart, and the peace of the soul. We do not say this in the hope of convincing the scoffer, but only to guide the seeker. Courage and good hope to him ; he will surely find, since we ourselves have found.


—Eliphas Levi from “The Key of the Mysteries (La Clef des Grands Mystéres)” , translated by Aleister Crowley, as found in The Equinox, Vol. 1, No. 10.
Saturday, July 22nd, 2006
1:29 pm
[brthrn]
entry Exodus Damage
Truth, reality, reason, justice, Providence, these are the five rays of the flamboyant star in the centre of which science will write the word “ being,”—to which faith will add the ineffable name of God.


It is formed of astral or terrestrial light, and transmits the double magnetization of it to the human body. The soul, by acting on this light through its volitions, can dissolve it or coagulate it, project it or withdraw it. It is the mirror of the imagination and of dreams. It reacts upon the nervous system, and thus produces the movements of the body. This light can dilate itself indefinitely, and communicate its reflections at considerable distances ; it magnetizes the bodies submitted to the action of man, and can, by concentrating itself, again draw them to him. It can take all the forms evoked by thought, and, in the transitory coagulations of its radiant particles, appear to the eyes ; it can even offer a sort of resistance to the touch. But these manifestations and uses of the medium being abnormal, the luminous instrument of precision cannot produce them without being strained, and there is danger of either habitual hallucination, or of insanity.


By augmenting the elasticity of the vital light and its force of projection, one sends it forth as far as one will, and withdraws it completely loaded with images ; but this operation must be favoured by the slumber of the subject, which one produces by coagulating still further the fixed part of his medium.



—Eliphas Levi from “The Key of the Mysteries (La Clef des Grands Mystéres)” , translated by Aleister Crowley, as found in The Equinox, Vol. 1, No. 10.
6:09 am
[brthrn]
entry Alien Sex Fiend
Fortune
6 of Cups: Pleasure—7 of Swords: Futility
Knight of Cups—5 of Swords: Defeat




FORTUNE

"This card is attributed to the planet Jupiter, "the Greater Fortune" in astrology. It corresponds to the letter Kaph, which means the palm of the hand, in whose lines, according to another tradition, the fortune of the owner may be read. It would be narrow to think of Jupiter as good fortune; he represents the element of luck. The incalculable factor.

"This card thus represents the Universe in its aspects as a continual change of state. Above, the firmament of stars. These appear distorted in shape, although they are balanced, some being brilliant and some dark. From them, through the firmament, issue lightnings; they churn it into a mass of blue and violet plumes. In the midst of all this is suspended a wheel of ten spokes, according to the number of the Sephiroth, and of the sphere of Malkuth, indicating governance of physical affairs."



PLEASURE

"Pleasure, in the title of this card, must be understood in its highest sense: it implies well-being, harmony of natural forces without effort or strain, ease, satisfaction. Foreign to the idea of the card is the gratification of natural or artificial desires. Yet it does represent emphatically the fulfilment of the sexual Will, as shown by the ruling Sephira, planet, element, and sign."


FUTILITY

"There is vacillation, a wish to comprimise, a certain toleration. But, in certain circumstances, the results may be more disastrous than ever. This naturally depends upon the success of the policy. This is always in doubt as long as there exist violent, uncomprimising forces which take it as a natural prey.

"This card, like the Four, suggests the policy of appeasement."



KNIGHT OF CUPS

"The Knight of Cups represents the fiery part of Water, the swift passionate attack of rain and springs; more intimately, Water's power of solution.…His totem is the peacock, for one of the stigmata of water in its most active form is brilliance. There is here also some reference to the phenomena of fluorescence.

"The characteristics of the person signified by this card are nevertheless mostly passive, in accordance with the Zodiacal attribution. He is graceful, dilettante, with the qualities of Venus, or a weak Jupiter. He is amiable in a passive way. He is quick to respond to attraction, and easily becomes enthusiastic under such stimulus; but he is not very enduring. He is exceedingly sensitive to external influence, but with no material depth in his character.

"Swiftness and violence ill suit a character naturally placid; it is rare indeed to meet with a person who has succeeded in harmonizing these conflicting elements. He tends to mismanage all his affairs; and unless sheer good fortune attend him, his whole career will be an unbroken record of failure or melancholy madness. The abuse of stimulants and narcotics may precipitate the catastrophe."



DEFEAT

"Geburah, as always, produces disruption; but as Venus here rules Aquarius, weakness rather than excess of strength seems the cause of disaster. The intellect has been enfeebled by sentiment. The defeat is due to pacifism. Treachery also may be implied.

"The historian is happy to observe two perfect illustrations of the mode of this card and the last in the birth of the Aeon of (I) Osiris, (2) Horus. He will note the decay of such Virtue as characterized Sparta and Rome, ending in the establishment of the Pax Romana. As Virtue declined, corruption disintegrated the Empire from within. Epicene cults, such as those of Dionysus (in its degraded form), of Attis, of Adonis, of Cybele, the false Demeter and the prostituted Isis, replaced the sterner rites of the true Solar-Phallic gods; until finally (the masters having lost the respect, and so the control, of the plebs, native and alien) the lowest of all the slave-cults, dressed up in the fables of the vilest of the parasitic races, swept over the known world, and drenched it in foul darkness for five hundred years. He will delight to draw close parallels with the cognate phenomena displayed before the present generation."


All card descriptions by Aleister Crowley from The Book of Thoth.









Freak On A Leash 4:15 Korn Follow The Leader [Japan] Metal 92 7/21/06 7:04 AM


" You'll never see me fall from grace. "






They that haue powre to hurt, and will doe none,
That doe not do the thing, they most do showe,
Who mouing others, are themselves are stone,
Vnmoued, could, and to temptation slow:


They rightly do inherit heavens graces,
And husband natures ritches from expense,


They are the Lords and owners of their faces,
Others, but stewards of their excellence:


—william shakespeare








HOMEessentials 4:54 MRvDC IIPhantasmagoriaII 484 7/14/06 7:54 PM
Wednesday, July 19th, 2006
4:50 pm
[brthrn]
entry Shall judge the quick and dead for all eternity.
The need of believing is closely linked with the need of loving ; for that reason our souls need communion in the same hopes and in the same love. Isolated beliefs are only doubts : it is the bond of mutual confidence which, by creating faith, composes religion.


Religion holds a greater place among the realities of life than those who do without religion—or pretend to do without it—affect to believe. All ideas that raise man above the animal—moral love, devotion, honour—are sentiments essentially religious. The cult of the fatherland and of the family, fidelity to an oath and to memory, are things which humanity will never abjure without degrading itself utterly, and which could never exist without the belief in something greater than mortal life, with all its vicissitudes, its ignorance and its misery.


Considered in this light, it is nothing but the need of infinite idealism, a need which justifies every aspiration for progress, which inspires every devotion, which alone prevents virtue and honour from being mere words, serving to exploit the vanity of the weak and the foolish to the profit of the strong and the clever.


The essence of the object of religion is mystery, since faith begins with the unknown, abandoning the rest to the investigations of science. Doubt is, moreover, the mortal enemy of faith ; faith feels that the intervention of the divine being is necessary to fill the abyss which separates the finite from infinite, and it affirms this intervention with all the warmth of its heart, with all the docility of its intelligence.


The true revealed religion is the hierarchical and traditional religion, which affirms itself absolutely, above human discussion, by communion in faith, hope and charity.


The divine ideal of the ancient world made the civilization which came to an end, and one must not despair of seeing the god of our barbarous fathers become the devil of our more enlightened children. One makes devils with cast-off gods, and Satan is only so incoherent and formless because he is made up of all the rags of ancient theogenies. He is the sphinx without a secret, the riddle without an answer, the mystery without truth, the absolute without reality and without light.


Every day has furnished a new revelation, every new king of the world has been for a day the image and the incarnation of God ! Sublime dream which explains the mysteries of India, and justifies all symbolisms !


We wait for the worship of the bride and of the mother ; we shall aspire to the wedding of the New Covenant.

Then the poor, the blind, the outlaws of the old world will be invited to the feast, and will receive a wedding garment. They will gaze the one upon the other with inexpressible tenderness and a smile that is ineffable because they have wept so long.


Psyche made divine by her torments, became the bride of Eros ; Adonis, raised form death, found again his Venus in Olympus ; Job, victorious over evil, recovered more than he had lost.


The elect are those who dare ; woe to the timid !


Glory to the Holy Ghost, who has promised victory over earth and over heaven to the angel of liberty !


Lucifer, of whom the dark ages have made the genius of evil, will be truly the angel of light when, having conquered liberty at the price of infamy, he will make use of it to submit himself to eternal order, inaugurating thus the glories of voluntary obedience.


The fallen angel is then he who, from the beginning, refused to love ; he does not love, and that is his whole torture ; he does not give, and that is his poverty ; he does not suffer, and that is his nothingness ; he does not die, and that is his exile.

The fallen angel is not Lucifer the light-bearer ; it is Satan, who calumniated love.


“He that saveth his life shall lose it,” says the Holy Book ; “ and he who consents to lose it will save it.”


God loves prodigal children !


The more one discusses with the object of obtaining greater accuracy, the less one believes ; every new dogma is a belief which a sect appropriates to itself, and thus, in some sort, steals from universal faith.


Our prayer will be perfect, when we pray without known whom we pray.

Prayer is not a noise which strikes the ear ; it is a silence which penetrates the heart.

Soft tears come to moisten the eyes, and sighs escape like incense smoke.

One feels oneself in love, ineffably in love, with all that is beauty, truth, and justice ; one throbs with a new life and one fears no more to die. For prayer is the eternal life of intelligence and love ; it is the life of God upon earth.


With the débris of the worlds, God makes stars ; with the debris of souls He makes angels.


Flocks who know yet only your shepherds, who wish to remain ignorant of their dealings with the butchers, it is excusable that you should stone them who humiliate you and disturb you, in speaking to you of your rights.

O Christ ! The authorities condemn Thee, Thy disciples deny Thee, the people curses Thee, and demands Thy murder ; only Thy mother weeps for Thee, even God abandons Thee !

“ Eli ! Eli ! lama sabachthani ! “


In order to dominate the vulgar, it is already necessary that the sanctuary should surround itself with sacrifices and with terror.


Persecution stirs up avengers ; the idea incarnates itself in a man ; Moses springs up ; Pharoah falls ; and the column of smoke and flame, which goes before a freed people, advances majestically into the desert.


He comes when the priesthood is worn out, when the old symbols have no more virtue, when the beacon of intelligence is extinguished.

He comes to recall Israel to life, and if he cannot galvanize Israel, slain by the Pharisees, into life, he will resurrect the world given over to the dead worship of idols.


Christ is the soul of protest.


He is the emancipation of the spirit which breaks the slavery of the flesh.

He is devotion in revolt against egoism.

He is the sublime modesty which replies to pride : “I will not obey thee ! “


THE NUMBER NINE

This is the hermit of the Tarot ; the number which refers to initiates and to prophets.

The prophets are solitaries, for it is their fate that none should ever hear them.


The Kingdom of Heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force.


Priests of l’Abbaye and les Carmes, victims of the Reign of Terror, butchered royalists, revolutionaries sacrificed in your turn, soldiers of our great armies who have sown the world with your bones, all you who have suffered the penalty of death, workers, strivers, darers of every kind, brave children of Prometheus, who have feared neither the lightning nor the vulture, all honour to your scattered ashes ! Peace and veneration to your memories ! You are the heroes of progress, martyrs of humanity !


And in the earth of blood and tears, He planted the vine of fraternity ; and the tears and the blood, sucked up by the roots of the divine tree, became the delicious sap of the grape which is destined to intoxicate with love the children of the future.


Nations succeed each other like men ; and nothing is stable, because everything is marching towards perfection.


However, the poetry of the East, in its magical souvenirs, will call him still Brahma, and Jupiter. India will teach our enchanted climates the marvellous fables of Vishnu, and we shall place upon the still bleeding forehead of our well-beloved Christ the triple crown of pearls of the mystical Trimurti. From that time, Venus, purified under the veil of Mary, will no more weep for her Adonis.

The bridegroom is risen to die no more, and the infernal boar has found death in its momentary victory.


The whole earth, reclothed with the rich adornments which all the arts have embroidered for her, will no longer be anything but a magnificent temple, of which man shall be the eternal peace.

All that was true, all that was beautiful, all that was sweet in the past centuries, will live once more glorified in this transfiguration of the world.

And the beautiful form will remain inseparable from the true idea, as the body will one day be inseparable from the soul, when the soul, come to its own power, will have made itself a body in its own image.

That will be the kingdom of Heaven upon Earth, and the body will be the temple of the soul, as the regenerated universe will be the body of God.

And bodies and souls, and form and thought, and the whole universe, will be the light, the word, and the permanent and visible revelation of God. Amen. So be it.


Warrior and bold intelligence, accomplice of divine Prometheus, eldest daughter of Lucifer, hail unto thee in thine audacity ! Thou didst wish to know, and in order to possess, thou didst brave all the thunders, and affronted every abyss !


How blind are they who do not see that physical light is nothing but the instrument of thought !


—Eliphas Levi from “The Key of the Mysteries (La Clef des Grands Mystéres)” , translated by Aleister Crowley, as found in The Equinox, Vol. 1, No. 10.
Thursday, July 13th, 2006
7:50 am
[brthrn]
entry Såah,
Efficacy of Words of Power 435

CHAPTER XXIV
THE CHAPTER OF BRINGING SPELLS TO THE SCRIBE ANI

PLATE XV


I.
THE CHAPTER OF BRINGING WORDS OF POWER (or, spells or incantations) TO THE OSIRIS ANI, who saith :— I am Tem-Kheperå who produced himself on the thighs of his divine mother. Those who dwell in Nu have been made wolves, and those who are among the Tchatcha Chiefs have become hyenas. Behold, I will gather together to myself this charm from the person with whom it is, [and from the place] wherein it is, [and it shall come to me] quicker than a greyhound, and swifter than light. Hail, thou who bringest the Ferry-Boat of Ra, thou holdest thy course firmly and directly in the north wind as thou sailest up the river towards the Island of Fire which is in Khert-Neter. Behold, thou shalt gather together to thee this charm from wheresoever it may be, and from whomsoever it may be with [and it shall come to me] quicker than a greyhound, and swifter than light. It (i.e., the charm) made the transformations of Mut; it fashioned the gods [or] kept silent ; by it Mut gave the warmth [of life] to the gods. Behold, these words of power are mine, and they shall come unto me from wheresoever they may be, or with whomsoever they may be, quicker than greyhounds and swifter than light, or, according to another reading, "swifter than shadows."


APPENDIX


The following Chapter is closely connected with the two preceding Chapters:—

CHAPTER XXV


THE CHAPTER WHICH MAKETH A MAN TO REMEMBER HIS NAME IN KHERT-NETER. [The deceased] saith:—Let my name be given to me in the Great House (Per-ur), and let me remember my name in the House of Fire (Per Neser), on the night wherein the years are counted up, and the number of the months is told. I am dwelling with the Divine One, I take my seat on the eastern side of the sky. If any god cometh after me, I shall be able to declare his name forthwith.


— From The Eyptian Book of the Dead, with commentary by E.A. Wallis Budge.






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Old Time Radio - The Black Mass - 68-11-20 - The Outsider - H.P. Lovecraft 22:25 1 6/29/06 5:22 AM
Wednesday, June 21st, 2006
12:34 pm
[brthrn]
entry Disorder
4 January. We had scooped out a hollow in the sand, where we felt quite comfortable. At night we rolled up together inside the hollow, Father covered it over with trunks of trees, scattering underbrush on top, and we were as well protected as we could be from storms and wild beasts. ‘Father,’ we would often call out in fright when it had already grown dark under the tree trunks and Father had still not appeared. But then we would see his feet through a crack, he would slide in beside us, would give each of us a little pat, for it calmed us to feel his hand, and then we would all fall asleep as it were together. In addition to our parents we were five boys and three girls; the hollow was too small for us, but we should have felt afraid if we had not been so close to one another at night.


On Luther’s early writings: ‘the mighty shades, attracted by murder and blood, that step from an invisible world into the visible one’ — Pascal.


Uncertainty, aridity, peace — all things will resolve themselves into these and pass away.


Description of inexplicable emotions. A.: Since that happened, the sight of women has been painful to me, it is neither sexual excitement nor pure sorrow, it is simply pain.


There are possibilities for me, certainly; but under what stone do they lie?

Carried forward on the horse —

Youth’s meaninglessness. Fear of youth, fear of meaninglessness, of the meaningless rise of an inhuman life.


Thürheim, II, 35, 28, 37: nothing sweeter than love, nothing pleasanter than flirtation; 45, 48: Jews.


What joy! Some man, a shadow, a companion, is always at my side, I don’t know who it is. Really have no time to turn around, to turn sideways.


My place is down below, I can find no other solution, F. simply happens to be the one through whom my fate is made manifest; I can’t live without her and must jump, yet — and this F. suspects — I couldn’t live with her either. Why not use tonight for the purpose, I can already see before me the people talking at the parents’ gathering this evening, talking of life and the conditions that have to be created for it — but I cling to abstractions, I live completely entangled in life, I won’t do it, I am cold, am sad that a shirt collar is pinching my neck, am damned, gasp for breath in the mist.


A young man on a beautiful horse rides out of the gate of a villa.

8 March. A prince can wed the Sleeping Beauty, or someone even harder to win too, but the Sleeping Beauty can be no prince.

It happened when Grandmother died only the nurse was with her. She said that just before Grandmother died she lifted herself up a little from the pillow so that she seemed to be looking for someone, and then peacefully lay back again and died.


I dived down and soon everything felt fine. A small shoal floated by in an upwards-mounting chain and disappeared in the green. Bells borne back and forth by the drifting of the tide — wrong.


The general argument: I am completely lost in F.


Nevertheless, it is true that I could wait. But I cannot wait in double hopelessness…


Only this everlasting waiting, eternal helplessness.


6 May. My parents seem to have found a beautiful apartment for F. and me; I ran around for nothing one entire beautiful afternoon. I wonder whether they will lay me in my grave too, after a life made happy by their solicitude.


The horror in the merely schematic.


Yesterday the white horse appeared to me for the first time before I fell asleep; I have an impression of its first stepping out of my head, which was turned to the wall, jumping across me and down from the bed, and then disappearing. The last is unfortunately not refuted by the fact of my having begun the story.


Dance on, you pigs; what concern is it of mine?


It is of course only the beginning, always on the beginning. But as I stand here in my misery, already the huge wagon of my schemes comes driving up behind me, I feel underfoot the first small step up, naked girls, like those on the carnival floats of happier countries, lead me backwards up the steps; I float because the girls float, and raise my hand to command silence. Rose bushes stand at my side, incense burns, laurel wreaths are let down, flowers are strewn before and over me; two trumpeters, as if hewn out of stone, blow fanfares, throngs of little people come running up, in ranks behind leaders; the bright, empty, open squares become dark, tempestuous, and crowded; I feel myself at the farthest edge of human endeavour, and, high up where I am, with suddenly acquired skill spontaneously execute a trick I had admired in a contortionist years ago — I bend slowly backwards (at that very moment the heavens strain to open to disclose a vision of me, but then stop), draw my head and trunk through my legs, and gradually stand erect again. Was this the ultimate given to mankind? It would seem so, for already I see the small horned devils leaping out of all the gates of the land, which lies broad and deep beneath me, overrunning the countryside; everything gives way in the centre under their feet, their little tails expunge everything, fifty devils’ tails are already scouring my face; the ground begins to yield, first one of my feet sinks in and then the other; the screams of the girls pursue me into the depths into which I plummet, down a shaft precisely the width of my body but infinitely deep. This infinity temps one to no extraordinary accomplishments, anything that I should do would be insignificant; I fall insensibly and that is best.

Dostoyevsky’s letter to his brother on life in prison.


We couldn’t bear it at home even a moment. We knew that they would look for us. But despite its being evening we ran away. Hills encircled our city; we clambered up them. We set all the trees to shaking as we swung down the slope from one end to the other.


‘Don’t you want to join us?’ I was recently asked by an acquaintance when he ran across me alone after midnight in a coffee-house that was already almost deserted. ‘No, I don’t,’ I said.

It was already past midnight. I sat in my room writing a letter on which a lot depended for me, for the letter I hoped to secure an excellent post abroad. I sought to remind the acquaintance to whom I was writing — by chance, after a ten-year interval, I had been put in touch with him again by a common friend — of past times, and at the same time make him understand that all my circumstances pressed me to leave the country and that in the absence of good and far-reaching connexions of my own, I was placing my greatest hopes in him.


‘Certainly. There can be no doubt of it. Speaking in confidence, our leadership is bad. We must pay for all sorts of old sins. This of course is not the time to talk of it, everybody must look out for himself now. We are indeed face to face with final collapse. Our visitors may be here by this evening. It may be that they won’t even wait until evening but will arrive here in half an hour.’


There are certain relationships which I can feel distinctly but which I am unable to perceive. It would be sufficient to plunge down a little deeper; but just at this point the upward pressure is so strong that I should think myself at the very bottom if I did not feel the currents moving below me. In any event, I look upward to the surface whence the thousand-times-refracted brilliance of the light falls upon me. I float up and splash around on the surface, in spite of the fact that I loathe everything up there and —


In the dim light, still at a great height, I had judged it badly, an angel in bluish-violet robes girt with gold cords sank slowly down on great white silken-shining wings, the sword in its raised arm thrust out horizontally. ‘An angel, then!’ I thought; ‘it has been flying towards me all the day and in my disbelief I did not know it. Now it will speak to me.’ I lowered my eyes. When I raised them again the angel was still there, it is true, hanging rather far off under the ceiling (which had closed again), but it was no living angel, only a painted wooden figurehead off the prow of a ship, one of the kind that hangs from the ceiling in sailors taverns, nothing more.

The hilt of the sword was made in such a way as to hold candles and catch the dripping tallow. I had pulled the electric light down; I didn’t want to remain in the dark, there was still one candle left, so I got up on a chair, stuck the candle into the hilt of the sword, lit it, and then sat late into the night under the angel’s faint flame.


5 July. To have to bear and to be the cause of such suffering!


They agreed that I was right, there was nothing, or not much, that could be said against me. Devilish in my innocence.


The children, uninterested, sat around his table like flies — I am more and more unable to think, to observe, to determine the truth of things, to remember, to speak, to share an experience; I am turning to stone, this is the truth.… I shun people not because I want to live quietly, but rather because I want to die quietly.


—Franz Kafka, from diaries 1910-1923, edited by Max Brod
Saturday, June 17th, 2006
2:46 pm
[brthrn]
entry Valentine
Those who rejoice in the sun and demand that others rejoice are like drunkards coming from a wedding at night who force those they meet to drink the health of the unknown bride.


25 May. Weak tempo, little blood.


Without weight, without bones, without body, walked through the streets for two hours considering what I overcame this afternoon while writing.


The invention of the devil. If we are possessed by the devil, it cannot be by one, for then we should live, at least here on earth, quietly, as with God, in unity, without contradiction, without reflection, always sure of the man behind us. His face would not frighten us, for as diabolical beings we would, if somewhat sensitive to the sight, be clever enough to prefer to sacrifice a hand in order to keep his face covered with it. If we were possessed by only a single devil, one who had a calm, untroubled view of our whole nature, and freedom to dispose of us at any moment, then that devil would also have enough power to hold us for the length of a human life high above the spirit of God in us, and even to swing us to and fro, so that we should never get to see a glimmer of it and therefore should not be troubled from that quarter. Only a crowd of devils could account for our earthly misfortunes. Why don’t they exterminate one another until a single one is left, or why don’t they subordinate themselves to one great devil? Either way would be in accord with the diabolical principle of deceiving us as completely as possible. With unity lacking, of what use is the scrupulous attention all the devils pay us? It simply goes without saying that the falling of human hair must matter more to the devil than to God, since the devil really loses that hair and God does not. But we still do not arrive at any state of well-being as long as the many devils are within us.


The way he can risk everything and risks nothing, because there is nothing but truth in him already, a truth that even in the face of the contradictory impressions of the moment will justify itself as such when the crucial time arrives. The calm self-possession. The slow pace that neglects nothing. The immediate readiness, when it is needed, not soon, for long in advance he sees everything that is coming.


This evening the whimpering of my poor mother because I don’t eat.


The picture of dissatisfaction presented by a street, where everyone is perpetually lifting his feet to escape from the place on which he stands.


Love between brother and sister — the repeating of the love between mother and father.


23 September. This story, ‘The Judgement’, I wrote at one sitting during the night of the 22nd-23rd, from ten o’clock at night to six o’clock in the morning.


I, only I, am the spectator in the orchestra.


Towards the end my hand was moving uncontrollably about and actually before my face. There were tears in my eyes. The indubitability of the story was confirmed — This evening tore myself away from my writing. Films in the National Theatre. Miss O., whom a clergyman once pursued. She came home soaked in cold sweat. Danzig. Life of Körner. The horses. The white horse. The smoke of powder. ‘Lützows wilde Jagd.


11 February. While I read the proofs of ‘The Judgement’, I’ll write down all the relationships which have become clear to me in the story as far as I now remember them. This is necessary because the story came out of me like a real birth, covered with filth and slime, and only I have the hand that can reach to the body itself and the strength of desire to do so:…


3 May. The terrible uncertainty of my inner existence.


The tremendous world I have in my head. But how free myself and free it without being torn to pieces. And a thousand times rather be torn to pieces than retain it in me or bury it. That, indeed, is why I am here, that is quite clear to me.


1 July. The wish for an unthinking, reckless solitude. To be face to face only with myself.


2 July. Wept over the report of the trial of twenty-three-year-old Marie Abraham who, because of poverty and hunger, strangled her not quite nine-month-old child, Barbara, with a man’s tie that she used as a garter. Very routine story.


When I say something it immediately and finally loses its importance, when I write it down it loses it too, but sometimes gains a new one.


I cannot sleep. Only dreams, no sleep.


Special methods of thinking. Permeated with emotion. Everything feels itself to be a thought, even the vaguest feelings (Dostoyevsky).

This block and tackle of the inner being. A small lever is somewhere secretly released, one is hardly aware of it at first, and at once the whole apparatus is in motion. Subject to an incomprehensible power, as the watch seems subject to time, it creaks here and there, and all the chains clank down their prescribed path one after the other.


Miserable creature that I am!

Just whip the horse properly! Dig the spurs into him slowly, then pull them out with a jerk, but now let them bite into the flesh with all your strength.

What an extremity!

Were we crazy? We ran through the park at night swinging branches.

I sailed a boat into a small, natural bay.


Nothing, nothing, nothing. Weakness, self-destruction, tip of a flame of hell piercing the floor.


23 July. With Felix in Rostock. The bursting sexuality of the women. Their natural impurity. The flirtation, senseless for me, with little Lena. The sight of a stout woman hunched up in a basket chair, one foot curiously pushed backwards, who was sewing something and talking to an old woman, probably an old spinster, whose teeth appeared unusually large on one side of her mouth. The full-bloodedness and wisdom of the pregnant woman. Her behind almost faceted by evenly divided planes. The life on the small terrace. How I coldly took the little girl on my lap, not at all unhappy about the coolness.

How childishly a tinker, seen through the open door of his shop, sits at his work and keeps striking with his hammer.

Roskoff, History of the Devil: Among the present-day Caribs, ‘he who works at night’ is regarded as the creator of the world.


I’ll shut myself off from everyone to the point of insensibility. Make an enemy of everyone, speak to no one.


While my evening’s intercourse with W. was carried on in a language of knocks whose meaning we never definitely agreed upon. I knocked on the ceiling of my room below hers, received her answer, leaned out of the window, greeted her, once let myself be blessed by her, once snatched at a ribbon she let down, sat on the window sill for hours, heard every one of her steps above, mistakenly regarded every chance knock to be the sign of an understanding, heard her coughing, her singing before she fell asleep.


22 October. Too late. The sweetness of sorrow and of love. To be smiled at by her in the boat. That was the most beautiful of all. Always only the desire to die and the not-yet-yielding; this alone is love.


6 November. Whence the sudden confidence? If it would only remain! If I could go in and out of every door in this way, a passably erect person. Only I don’t know whether I want that.


Everything appears to me to be an artificial construction of the mind. Every mark by someone else, every chance look throws everything in me over on the other side, even what has been forgotten, even what is entirely insignificant.


These predictions, this imitating of models, this fear of something definite, is ridiculous. These are constructions that even in the imagination, where they are alone sovereign, only approach the living surface but then are always suddenly driven under. Who has the magic hand to thrust into the machinery without its being torn to pieces and scattered by a thousand knives?

I am on the hunt for constructions. I come into a room and find them whitely merging in a corner.


The child of the housekeeper who opened the gate. Bundled up in a woman’s old shawl, pale, numb, fleshy little face. At night is carried to the gate like that by the housekeeper.


E: Please step in here. Be careful not to stumble. Please walk ahead, there’s only my sister in the room.


To die would mean nothing else than to surrender a nothing to a nothing, but that would be impossible to conceive, for how could a person, even only as a nothing, consciously surrender himself to the nothing, and not merely to an empty nothing but rather to a roaring nothing whose nothingness consists only in its incomprehensibility.


What is disgusting, perhaps, is this puffing-themselves-up of the little fools in their great folly.


Wonderful, entirely self-contradictory idea that someone who died at 3 a.m., for instance, immediately thereafter, about dawn, enters into a higher life. What incompatibility there is between the visibly human and everything else! How out of one mystery there always comes a greater one! In the first moment the breath leaves the human calculator. Really one should be afraid to step out of one’s house.


The world is conquered and we have watched it with open eyes. We can therefore quietly turn away and live on.


10 December. Discoveries have forced themselves on people.


16 December. ‘The thundering scream of the seraphim’s delight.’


18 December. I am going to sleep, I am tired. Perhaps it has already been decided there. Many dreams about it.


The effect of a peaceful face, calm speech, especially when exercised by a strange person one hasn’t seen through yet. The voice of God out of a human mouth.


—Franz Kafka, from diaries 1910-1923, edited by Max Brod.
Monday, June 12th, 2006
2:22 pm
[brthrn]
entry "It's a good piece of beef!"
My feeling when I write something that is wrong might be depicted as follows: In front of two holes in the ground a man is waiting for something to appear that can rise up only out of the hole on his right. But while this hole remains covered over by a dimly visible lid, one thing after another rises up out of the hole on his left, keeps trying to attract his attention, and in the end succeeds in doing this without any difficulty because of its swelling size, which, much as the man may try to prevent it, finally covers up even the right hole. But the man — he does not want to leave this place, and indeed refuses at any price — has nothing but these appearances, and although — fleeting as they are, their strength is used up by their merely appearing — they cannot satisfy him, he still strives, whenever out of weakness they are arrested in their rising up, to drive them up and scatter them into the air if only he can thus bring up others; for the permanent sight of one is unbearable, and moreover he continues to hope that after the false appearances have been exhausted, the true will finally appear.


29 December. Those lively passages in Goethe. Page 265, ‘I therefore led my friend into the woods.’

Goethe: 307. ‘Now I heard during these hours no other conversation save what concerned medicine or natural history, and my imagination was drawn in quite another direction.’


On the other hand, I have decided to urge to imitate them in their details, the way certain people manipulate walking sticks, the way they hold their hands, the movements of their fingers, and I can do it without any effort. But this very effortlessness reflects itself in the fact that no one is aware that I am imitating. Only my own satisfied, or more often reluctant, appreciation shows me that I have been successful. Far beyond this external imitation, however, goes the inner, which is often so striking and strong that there is no room at all within me to observe and verify it, and it first confronts me in my memory.… Even though this ability may not be so small that it cannot be divided up, he does not want to betray the fact that under certain circumstances, by the exercise of his own will, he can dispose of less than all his art.


I admitted the possibility of miracles more readily than that of real progress, but was too detached not to keep the sphere of miracles and that of real progress sharply divided. I was therefore able to spend a good deal of time before falling asleep in imaging that some day, a rich man in a coach of four, I would drive into the Jewish quarter, with a magic word set free a beautiful maiden who was being beaten unjustly, and carry her off in my coach; but untouched by this silly make-believe, which probably fed only on an already unhealthy sexuality, I remained convinced that I would not pass my final examinations that year, and if I did, I would not get on in the next class, and if by some swindle I could avoid even that, then I would certainly fail decisively in my graduation examination, convinced also that I would all at once — the precise moment did not matter — reveal some unheard-of inability and very definitely surprise my parents as well as the rest of the world, who had been lulled to sleep by my outwardly regular progress.


I was undecided, as I always was in such cases, they made me afraid that by a definite statement I would be swept away not only into an immediate unpleasantness, but beyond that into something even worse.


The sudden turn a conversation takes when in the discussion, which at first has dealt in detail with worries of the inner existence, the question is raised (not really breaking the conversation off, but naturally not growing out of it, either) of when and where one will meet the next time and the circumstances that must be considered in deciding this. And if the conversation also ends with a shaking of hands, then one takes one’s leave with momentary faith in the pure, firm structure of our life and with respect for it.


4 January. It is only because of my vanity that I like so much to read to my sisters (so that today, for instance, it is already too late to write). Not that I am convinced that I shall achieve something significant in the reading, it is only that I am dominated by the passion to get so close to the good works I read that I merge with them, not through my own merit, indeed, but only through the attentiveness of my listening sisters, which has been excited by what is being read and is unresponsive to inessentials; and therefore too, under the concealment my vanity affords me, I can share as creator in the effect which the work alone has exercised. That is why I really read admirably to my sisters and stress the accents with extreme exactness just as I feel them, because later I am abundantly rewarded not only by myself but also by my sisters.


5 January. For two days I have noticed, whenever I choose to, an inner coolness and indifference. Yesterday evening, during my walk, every little street sound, every eye turned towards me, every picture in a showcase, was more important to me than myself.


What is not written down swims before one’s eyes and optical accidents determine the total impression.


In order to achieve a good conversation one must, as it were, push one’s hand more deeply, more lightly, more drowsily under the subject to be dealt with, then it can be lifted up astonishingly. Otherwise one breaks one’s fingers and thinks of nothing but one’s pains.


Yet even if I managed fairly well in some of this, one obvious slip, and slips cannot be avoided, will stop the whole process, the easy and the difficult alike, and I will have to turn backwards in the circle. So the best resource is to meet everything as calmly as possible, to make yourself an inert mass, and, if you feel that you are carried away, not to let yourself be lured into taking a single unnecessary step, to stare at others with the eyes of an animal, to feel no compunction, to yield to the non-conscious that you believe far away while it is precisely what is burning you, with your own hand to throttle down whatever ghostly life remains in you, that is, to enlarge the final peace of the graveyard and let nothing survive save that. A characteristic movement in such a condition is to run your little finger along your eyebrows.


8 February. Goethe: ‘My delight in creating was infinite.’


Not a word is lost, nor is there the whisper of an echo, instead everything grows gradually larger, as though the voice, already occupied with something else, continued to exercise a direct after-effect, it grows stronger after the initial impetus and swallows us up.… If one looks up at the ceiling of the hall, one is drawn upward by the verses.


This sort of reciting from a chair, with the book before one, reminds one a little of ventriloquism. The artist, seemingly not participating, sits there like us, in his bowed face we see only the mouth move from time to time, and instead of reading the verses himself, he lets them be read over his head.


5 March. These revolting doctors!


Today, while bathing, I thought I felt old powers, as though they had been untouched by the long interval.


Nothing, nothing. This is the way I raise up ghosts before me.


So deserted by myself, by everything. Noise in the next room.


The reciter, Reichmann, landed in the lunatic asylum the day after our conversation.


Only the billowing overcoat remains, everything else is made up.


18 March. I was wise, if you like, because I was prepared for death at any moment, but not because I had taken care of everything that was given to me to do, rather because I had done none of it and could not even hope ever to do any of it.


In the next room my mother is entertaining the L. couple. They are talking about vermin and corns. (Mrs L. has six corns on each toe.) It is easy to see that there is no real progress made in conversations of this sort. It is information that will be forgotten again by both and that even now proceeds along in self-forgetfulness without any sense of responsibility. But for the very reason that such conversations are unthinkable without absent-mindedness, they reveal empty spaces which, if one insists, can be filled only by thinking, or, better yet, by dreams.


One quite forgets one’s earthly existence because one is so entirely full of fury and is permitted to believe that, given the opportunity, one would in the same way fill oneself with even more beautiful emotions.


Desire for a deeper sleep that dissolves more. The metaphysical urge is only the urge toward death.


—Franz Kafka, from diaries 1910-1923, edited by Max Brod.









Doorway of the bowling alley... 2:40 Jack Kerouac Doctor Sax and the Great World Snake 61 5/10/06 8:22 PM
Sunday, June 4th, 2006
2:11 pm
[brthrn]
entry Blue Hands
This afternoon the pain occasioned by my loneliness came upon me so piercingly and intensely that I became aware that the strength which I gain through this writing thus spends itself, a strength which I certainly have not intended for this purpose.


2 November. This morning, for the first time in a long time, the joy again of imagining a knife twisted in my heart.


‘With his own prayers he passed away.’ He was much envied for his death that followed so pious a life.


If I were ever able to write something large and whole, well shaped from beginning to end, then in the end the story would never be able to detach itself from me and it would be possible for me calmly and with open eyes, as a blood relation of a healthy story, to hear it read, but as it is every little piece of the story runs around homeless and drives me away from it in the opposite direction. — At the same time I can still be happy if this explanation is correct.


I had hoped, by means of the bouquet of flowers, to appease my love for her a little, it was quite useless. It is possible only through literature or through sleeping together. I write this not because I did not know it, but rather because it is perhaps well to write down warnings frequently.


I could not tell her that I was not really concerned about her but was rather only happy to have found an emotion in which I could enjoy my love, and therefore told her again that I was worried.


Should I be grateful or should I curse the fact that despite all misfortune I can still feel love, an unearthly love but still for earthly objects.


I often wished to be brought face to face with the Emperor to show him how little effect he had. And that was not courage, it was just coolness.


Before falling asleep.

It seems to so dreadful to be a bachelor, to become an old man struggling to keep one’s dignity while begging for an invitation whenever one wants to spend an evening in company, having to carry one’s meal home in one’s hand, unable to expect anyone with a lazy sense of calm confidence, able only with difficulty and vexation to give a gift to someone, having to say good night at the front door, never being able to run up a stairway beside one’s wife, to lie ill and have only the solace of the view from one’s window when one can sit up, to have only side-doors in one’s room leading into other people’s living-rooms, to feel estranged from one’s family, with whom one can keep on close terms only by marriage, first by the marriage of one’s parents, then when the effect of that has worn off, by one’s own, having to admire other people’s children and not even being allowed to go on saying: ‘I have none myself,’ never to feel oneself grow older since there is no family growing up around one, modelling oneself in appearance and behaviour on one or two bachelors remembered from our youth.

This is all true, but it is easy to make the error of unfolding future sufferings so far in front of one that one’s eye must pass beyond them and never again return, while in reality, both today and later, one will stand with a palpable body and a real head, a real forehead that is, for smiting one with one’s hand.


Blindly and arbitrarily I snatch handfuls out of the stream so that when I write it down calmly, my acquisition is nothing in comparison with the fullness in which it lived, is incapable of restoring this fullness, and thus is bad and disturbing because it tempts to no purpose.


From an old notebook: ‘Now, in the evening, after having studied since six o’clock in the morning, I noticed that my left hand had already for some time been sympathetically clasping my right hand by the fingers.’


We accept foreign cities as a fact, the inhabitants live there without penetrating our way of life, just as we cannot penetrate theirs, a comparison must be made, it can’t be helped, but one is well aware that it has no moral or even psychological value, in the end one can often even omit the comparison because the difference in the condition of life is so great that it makes it unnecessary.


Suddenly, impure paraffin or a damaged wick is probably the cause, the light spurts out of one of these lanterns and sparks pour down in a broad gush on the crowded audience that forms a mass as black as earth. Then a gentleman rises up out of this mass, walks on it towards the lamp, apparently wants to fix the lamp, but first looks up at it, remains standing near it for a short while, and, when nothing happens, returns quietly to his place in which he is swallowed up. I take him for myself and bow my face into the darkness.


My repugnance for antitheses is certain. They are unexpected, but do not surprise, for they have always been there; if they were unconscious, it was at the very edge of consciousness they make for thoroughness, fullness, completeness, but only like a figure on the ‘wheel of life’, we have chased our little idea around the circle. They are as undifferentiated as they are different, they grow under one’s hand as though bloated by water, beginning with the prospect of infinity, they always end up in the same medium size. They curl up, cannot be straightened out, are mere clues, are holes in wood, are immobile assaults, draw antitheses to themselves, as I have shown. If they would only draw all of them, and forever.


[inwardly undisturbed]: Why yes, unfortunately he is leaving, you didn’t have to call me here for that.


Now, however, I lie here on the sofa, kicked out of the world, watching for the sleep that refuses to come and will only graze me when it does, my joints ache with fatigue, my dried-up body trembles toward its own destruction in turmoils of which I dare not become fully conscious, in my head are astonishing convulsions. And there stand the three women before my door, one praises me as I was, two as I am. The cook says I shall go straight — she means without any detour — to heaven. This it shall be.


(22 November) ANNA: No, but you have developed a new habit, Emil, one that’s quite horrible. You know how to catch hold of every trifle and use it to find something bad in me.

KARL [rubs his fingers]: Because you have no consideration, because in general you are incomprehensible.


When I come to Warsaw I will walk about among you in my European clothes like ‘a spider before your eyes, like a mourner at a wedding’.


If a great scholar commits a sin during the evening or the night, by morning you are no longer permitted to reproach him with it, for in his scholarship he has already repented of it himself.


Honesty of evil thoughts.… How would I live through it with this body picked up in a lumber room? The Talmud too says: A man without a woman is no person. I had no defence this evening against such thoughts except to say to myself: ‘It is now that you come, evil thoughts, now, because I am weak and have an upset stomach. You pick this time for me to think you. You have waited for your advantage. Shame on you. Come some other time, when I am stronger. Don’t exploit my condition in this way.’ And, in fact, without even waiting for other proofs, they yielded, scattered slowly and did not again disturb me during the rest of my walk, which was naturally, not too happy. They apparently forgot, however, that if they were to respect all my evil moments, they would seldom get their chance.


Little Soul,
Boundest in dancing, etc.



At one such entertainment a wonder-rabbi who often had hallucinations suddenly laid his face on his arms, which were resting on the table, and remained in that position for three hours while everyone was silent. When he awoke he wept and sang an entirely new, gay, military march. This was the melody with which the angels of the dead have just escorted to heaven the soul of a wonder-rabbi who had died at this time in a far-off Russian city.

On Friday, according to the Kabbalah, the pious get a new, more delicate soul, entirely divine, which remains with them until Saturday evening.

On Friday evening two angels accompany each pious man from the synagogue to his home; the master of the house stands while he greets them in the dining-room; they stay only a short time.


The unhappiness of the bachelor, whether seeming or actual, is so easily guessed at by the world around him that he will curse his decision, at least if he has remained a bachelor because of the delight he takes in secrecy.… But everyone knows his condition, can detail his sufferings. A cold breeze breathes upon him from within and he gazes inward with the even sadder half of his double face. He moves incessantly, but with predictable regularity, from one apartment to another. The farther he moves away from the living, for whom he must still — and this is the worst mockery — work like a conscious slave who dare not express his consciousness, so much the smaller a space is considered sufficient for him. While it is death that must still strike down the others, though they may have spent all their lives in a sickbed — for even though they would have gone down by themselves long ago from their own weakness, they nevertheless hold fast to their loving, very healthy relatives by blood and marriage — he, this bachelor, still in the midst of life, apparently of his own free will resigns himself to an even smaller space, and when he dies the coffin is exactly right for him.


Before falling asleep felt on my body the weight of the fists on my light arms.


In order to be able to speak to young girls I need older persons near me. The slight disturbance emanating from them enlivens my speech, I immediately feel that the demands made on me are diminished; what I speak out of myself without previous consideration can always, if it is not suitable for the girl, be directed to the older person, from whom I can also, if it becomes necessary, draw on abundance of help.


9 December. Stauffer-Bern: ‘The sweetness of creation begets illusions about its real value.’


The way once, at midnight, the piano player, probably a bachelor, slipped out of the door with his music.


When I begin to write after a rather long interval, I draw the words as if out of the empty air. If I capture one, then I have just this one alone and all the toll must begin anew.


The old tricks at the Christmas Fair. Two cockatoos on a crossbar pull fortunes. Mistakes: a girl has a lady-love predicted. A man offers artificial flowers for sale in rhyme: To jest ruze udelená z kuze [This is a rose, made of leather].


In periods of transition such as the past week has been for me and as this moment at least still is, a sad but calm astonishment at my lack of feeling often grips me. I am divided from all things by a hollow space and I don’t even push myself to the limits.


The appearance of the dead Axiocha, called up in the shape of a phantom, who soon disappears because, having died only a short time ago, she relives her old human sorrows too keenly at the sight of the world.


I am not punctual because I do not feel the pains of waiting. I wait like an ox. For if I feel a purpose in my momentary existence, even a very uncertain one, I am so vain in my weakness that I would gladly bear anything for the sake of this purpose once it is before me. If I were in love, what couldn’t I do then. How long I waited, years ago, under the arcades of the Ring until M. came by, even to see her walk with her lover. I have been late for appointments partly out of carelessness, partly out of ignorance of the pains of writing, but also partly in order to attain new, complicated purposes through a renewed, uncertain search for the people with whom I made the appointments, and so to achieve the possibility of long, uncertain waiting. From the fact as a child I had a great nervous fear of waiting one could conclude that I was destined for something better and that I foresaw my future.


Today at breakfast I spoke with my mother by chance about children and marriage, only a few words, but for the first time saw clearly how untrue and childish is the conception of me that my mother builds up for herself. She considers me a healthy young man who suffers a little from the notion that he is ill. This notion will disappear by itself with time; marriage, of course, and having children would put an end to it best of all. Then my interest in literature would also be reduced to the degree that is perhaps necessary for an educated man. A matter-of-fact, undisturbed interest in my profession or in the factory or in whatever may come to hand will appear. Hence there is not the slightest, not the trace of a reason for pemanent despair, which is not very deep, however, whenever I think my stomach is upset, or when I can’t sleep because I write too much. There are thousands of possible solutions. The most probable is that I shall suddenly fall in love with a girl and will never gain want to do without her. Then I shall see how good their intentions towards me are and how little they will interfere with me. But if I remain a bachelor like my uncle in Madrid, that too will be no misfortune because with my cleverness I shall know how to make adjustments.

23 December. Saturday. When I look at my whole way of life going in a direction that is foreign and false to all my relatives and acquaintances, the apprehension arises, and my father expresses it, that I shall become a second Uncle Rudolf, the fool of the new generation of the family, the fool somewhat altered to meet the needs of a different period;…


After having demanded from us understanding of these transformations, the artist indicated only hastily, but with pride, that everything on these sheets had significance and that even the accidental was necessary because its effect influence everything that followed.


One advantage in keeping a diary is that you become aware with reassuring clarity of the changes which you constantly suffer and which in general way are naturally believed, surmised, and admitted by you, but which you’ll unconsciously deny when it comes to the point of gaining hope or peace from such an admission. In the diary you find proof that in situations which today would seem unbearable, you lived, looked around and wrote down observations, that this right hand moved then as it does today, when we may be wiser because we are able to look back upon our former condition, and for that very reason have got to admit the courage of our earlier striving in which we persisted in sheer ignorance.


It is so indisputable that these religious forms which have reached their final end have merely a historical character, even as they are practised today, that only a short time was needed this very morning to interest the people present in the obsolete custom of circumcision and its half-sung prayers by describing it to them as something out of history.


To run against the window, and, weak after exerting all one’s strength, to step over the window sill through the splintered wood and glass.


List of thing which today are easy to imagine as ancient: the crippled beggars on the way to promenades and picnic places, the unilluminated atmosphere at night, the crossed girders of the bridge.


27 December. An unfortunate man, one who is condemned to have no children, is terribly imprisoned in his misfortune. Nowhere a hope for revival, for help from luckier stars. He must live his life, afflicted by his misfortune, and when its circle is ended must resign himself to it and not start out again to see whether, on a longer path, under other circumstances of body and time, the misfortune which he has suffered could disappear or even produce something good.


—Franz Kafka from diaries 1910-1923, edited by Max Brod.








Good morning, captain 7:39 Slint Spiderland Alternative & Punk 100 5/29/06 5:35 AM
Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
2:09 pm
[brthrn]
entry Dukes Up
The Mystic Number of Kether. S.P.M.

Ventriloquus: the special 'fire' of black magic, whence Obi, Obeah. He kindled Brother A garment Became powerful, grew high Middle Splendour ;

The Number of Abra-Melin Servitors of Beelzebub. 72. The Living GOD Qliphoth of Geburah Resembled ; meditated ; silent Intelligence of [Venus] Drooping, being sick Strength Heat, fury (Ch.) A bringing forth, birth, nativity A measuring, measure Solve. The Rod of Aaron

92 = 34. [Moon] GODS I. Anger, wrath ; also nose Hearer of Cries ; Angel of 6 P., and of 5 W. Night Demon of 2nd Dec. [Scorpio] Throne Here, hither

112 Vain idols ?Termination of Abr-amelim? An end, extremity Emanated from Of whirling motions Nocturnal vision Angel ruling [Cancer] It is filled Angel L.T.N. of [Cancer]

132 The accentuator

172 Apertio. Particulare

" My Lord, the faithful King" ; a name of GOD Fire A candlestick

212 Cerva Truth ; Temurah of [Mem] [Dalet] [Alef], by Aiq Bekar A live coal Day of Demon of 2nd Dec. [Leo] Angel of L.T.D. of [Pisces]

232 Affatura ollaris cum iusculo dulci Day Demon of 3rd Dec. [Cancer]

272 = 93 = 36

312
Saturday, May 27th, 2006
10:08 pm
[brthrn]
entry Love Buzz
In a dream I asked the dancer Eduardova to dance the Czardas just one time more. She had a broad streak of shadow or light across the middle of her face between the lower part of her forehead and the cleft of her chin. Just then someone with the loathsome gestures of an unconscious intriguer approached to tell her the train was leaving immediately. The manner in which she listened to this announcement made it terribly clear to me that she would not dance again. ‘I am a wicked, evil woman, am I not?’ she said. ‘Oh no,’ I said, ‘not that,’ and turned away aimlessly.


I write this very decidedly out of a despair over my body and over a future with this body.


Whenever I really questioned myself, there was always a response forthcoming, there was always something in me to catch fire, in this heap of straw that I have been for five months and whose fate, it seems, is to be set afire during the summer and consumed more swiftly than the onlooker can blink his eyes.


… I come to the conclusion that in some respects my education has done me terrible harm. There inheres in the recognition of this a reproach directed against a multitude of people. There are my parents and my relatives, a certain particular cook, my teachers, several writers — the love with which they harmed me makes their guilt even greater, for how much [good] they could have [done] me with their love — several families friendly with my family, a swimming teacher, natives of summer resorts, several ladies in the city park of whom this would not at all have been expected, a hairdresser, a beggarwoman, a helmsman, the family doctor, and many more besides; and there would be still more if I could and wanted to name them all; in short, there are so many that one must be careful not to name anyone in the lot twice.


‘You,’ I said, and gave him a little shove with my knee (at this a sudden utterance some saliva flew from my mouth as an evil omen), ‘don’t fall asleep!’

‘I’m not falling asleep,’ he answered, and shook his head while opening his eyes. ‘If I were to fall asleep, how could I guard you then? And don’t I have to do that? Isn’t that why you grabbed hold of me then in front of the church? Yes, it was a long time ago, as we know it, just leave your watch in your pocket.’

‘It’s really very late,’ I said. I had to smile a little and in order to conceal it I looked intently into the house.


‘If I just knew definitely that you were being sincere with me, I should have been up there long ago. But how could I even tell whether you were sincere with me? You’re looking at me now as though I were a little child, that doesn’t help me at all, that indeed makes it even worse. But perhaps you want to make it worse. At the same time I can no longer stand the air in the street, so I already belong with the company up there. When I pay attention there’s a scratching in my throat, there you have it. Besides, I cough. And have you any idea how I’ll get along up there? The foot with which I step into the hall will already be transformed before I can draw the other one after it.’


‘I want to leave, want to mount the steps, if necessary, by turning somersaults.… And this depth I need but feel uninterruptedly for a quarter of an hour and the poisonous world flows into my mouth like water into that of a drowning man.’


‘We others, we, indeed, are held in our past and future. We pass almost all our leisure and how much of our work in letting them bob up and down in the balance. Whatever advantage the has in size, the past compensates for in weight, and at their end the two are indeed no longer distinguishable, earliest youth later becomes distinct, as the future is, and the end of the future is really already experienced in all our sighs, and thus becomes the past. So this circle along whose rim we move almost closes. Well, this circle indeed belongs to us, but belongs to us only so long as we keep to it, if we move to the side just once, in any chance forgetting of self, we have already lost it into space, until now we had our noses stuck into the tide of the times, now we step back, former swimmers, present walkers, and are lost. We are outside the law, no one knows it and yet everyone treats us accordingly.’


‘You,’ I said, and gave him a little shove with my knee (at this sudden utterance some saliva flew from my mouth as an evil omen), ‘now you’re falling asleep.’

‘I haven’t forgotten you,’ he said, and shook his head while he was still opening his eyes.

‘I wasn’t afraid of it either,’ I said. I ignored his smile and looked down on the pavement. ‘I just wanted to tell you that now, come what may, I am going up. For, as you know, I have been invited up there, it is already late and the company is waiting for me. Perhaps some arrangements have been put off until I come. I don’t insist it is so, but it is always possible. You will now ask me whether I could not perhaps forgo the company altogether.’


‘… When I look back like this I don’t know at all whether there have been any nights, everything looks to me, can you imagine, like one day without any mornings, afternoons, and evenings, even without any difference in light.’


10 o’clock, 15 November. I will not let myself become tired. I’ll jump into my story even though it should cut my face to pieces.


It is as if I were made of stone, as if I were my own tombstone, there is no loophole for doubt or for faith, for love or repugnance, for courage or anxiety, in particular or in general, only a vague hope lives on, but no better than the inscriptions on tombstones.


I have continually an invocation in my ear: ‘Were you to come, invisible judgement!’


21 December. Curiosities from Taten des grossen Alexander by Michail Kusmin:

‘Child whose upper half dead, lower alive, child’s corpse with moving little red legs.’

‘The four kings God and Magog, who were nourished on worms and flies, he drove into riven cliffs and sealed them in until the end of the world with the seal of Solomon.’

‘Rivers of stone, where in place of water stones rolled with great din past the brooks of sand that flow for three days to the south for three days to the north.’

‘Amazons, women with their right breasts burned away, short hair, male footgear.’

‘Crocodiles who with their urine burned down trees.’


22 December. Today I do not even dare to reproach myself. Shouted into this empty day, it would have a disgusting echo.


Wretched, wretched, and yet with good intentions. It is midnight, but since I have slept very well, that is an excuse only to the extent that by day I would have written nothing. The burning electric light, the silent house, the darkness outside, the last waking moments, they give me the right to write even if it be only the most miserable stuff. And this right I use hurriedly. That’s the person I am.

26 December. Two and a half days I was, though not completely, alone, and already I am, if not transformed, at any rate on the way. Being alone has a power over me that never fails. My interior dissolves (for the time being only superficially) and is ready to release what lies deeper.


3 January. ‘You,’ I said, and then gave him a little shove with my knee, ‘I want to say good-bye.’ At this sudden utterance some saliva flew from my mouth as an evil omen.


6 January. ‘You,’ I said, aimed, and gave him a little shove with my knee, ‘but now I’m going. If you want to see it too, open your eyes.’


… I shall either have to wish myself off the earth or else, without my being able to see even the most moderate hope in it, I shall have to start afresh like a baby. Externally, this will be easier for me than before. For in those days I still strove with hardly a suspicion after a description in which every word would be linked to my life, which I would draw to my heart, and which would transport me out of myself.


It was chiefly the corridor of the prison that was described in the few lines, above all its silence and coldness; a sympathetic word was also said about the brother who was left behind, because he was the good brother.


In the final analysis, I know, that is just talk, the fault is mine and the office has a right to make the most definite and justified demands on me. But for me in particular it is a horrible double life from which there is probably no escape but insanity. I write this in the good light of the morning and would certainly not write it if it were not so true and if I did not love you like a son.


21 February. My life here is just as if I were quite certain of a second life, in the same way, for example, I got over the pain of my unsuccessful visit to Paris with the thought that I would try to go there again very soon. With this, the sight of the sharply divided light and shadows on the pavement of the street.


In same way, too, the convulsive starting up of a lizard under our feet on a footpath in Italy delights us greatly, again and again we are moved to bow down, but if we see them at a dealer’s by hundreds crawling over one another in confusion in the large bottles in which otherwise pickles are usually packed, then we don’t know what to do.


He is, perhaps, not the greatest contemporary psychic scholar, but he alone has been assigned to the task of uniting theosophy and science. And that is why he knows everything too. Once a botanist came to his native village, a great master of the occult. He enlightened him.


End of the Atlantic world, lemuroid destruction, and now through egoism. We live in a period of decision.


He communicates with his absent disciples by means of thought-forms which he transmits to them without bothering further about them after they are generated. But they soon wear out and he must replace them.


So you are Dr Kafka? Have you been interested in theosophy long?

… My happiness, my abilities, and every possibility of being useful in any way have always been in the literary filed. And here I have, to be sure, experienced states (not many) which in my opinion correspond very closely to the clairvoyant states describes by you, Herr Doktor, in which I completely dwelt in every idea, but also filled every idea, and in which I not only felt myself at my boundary, but at the boundary of the human in general. Only the calm of enthusiasm, which is probably characteristic of the clairvoyant, was still lacking in those states, even if not completely. I conclude this from the fact that I did not write the best of my works in those states. I cannot now devote myself completely to this literary field, as would be necessary and indeed for various reasons.


27 May. Today is your birthday, but I’m not even sending you the usual book, for it would be only pretence; at bottom I am after all not even in a position to give you a book. I am writing only because it is so only by means of this card, and I have begun with the complaint only so that you may recognize me at once.


I have been reading about Dickens. Is it so difficult and can an outsider understand that you experience a story within yourself from its beginning, from a distant point up to the approaching locomotives of steel, coal, and steam, and you don’t abandon it even now, but want to be pursued by it and have time for it, therefore are pursued by it and of you own volition run before it wherever it may thrust and wherever you may lure it.


In summer they sometimes met in a public garden, sat at a table off to one side where it was darker, drank to one another, and, their heads together in conversation, hardly noticed the distant brass band. Arm in arm and in step, they then walked home through the park.


Robert made a proposal. ‘Let’s meet every week and study Italian. We are determined to learn Italian, last year already we saw in the little part of Italy where we were that our Italian was only sufficient to ask the way when we got lost, remember, among the vineyard walls of the Campagna. And even then it managed to do only thanks to the greatest efforts on the part of those we asked. We’ll have to study it if we want to go to Italy again this year. We simply have to. And so isn’t it best to study together?’


‘But we haven’t studied anything together yet,’ said Franz. ‘I like it very well that way, too. I don’t want to learn a thing. But if we have to learn Italian, then it is better for each one to learn it by himself.’


‘And indeed there isn’t much time,’ said Max. ‘It is June now and in September we want to leave.’


The alien being must be in me, then, as distinctly and invisibly as the hidden object in a picture-puzzle, where, too, one would never find anything if one did not know that it is there. When these metamorphoses take place, I should especially like to believe in a dimming of my own eyes.


The words are not really, or chiefly, sung, but behind them arabesque-like melodies are heard that spin out the words as fine as hairs.


Several girls here dressed like the marionettes for children’s theatres that are sold in the Christmas market, i.e. with ruching and gold stuck on and loosely sewn so that one can rip them with one pull and they then fall apart in one’s fingers.


I am completely awake, have the feeling that I have not slept at all or only under a thin skin, have before me anew the labour of falling asleep and feel myself rejected by sleep.… I think of those nights at the end of which I was raised out of deep sleep and awoke as though I had been folded in a nut.


Again it was the power of my dreams, shining forth into wakefulness even before I fall asleep, which did not let me sleep. In the evening and the morning my consciousness of the creative abilities in me is more than I can encompass. I feel shaken to the core of my being and can get out of myself whatever I desire. Calling forth such powers, which are then not permitted to function, reminds me of my relationship with B. Here too there are effusions which are not released but must instead spend themselves in being repulsed, but here — this is the difference — it is a matter of more mysterious powers which are of an ultimate significance to me.


I was convinced that I (and I alone) deceived the world.


Three actresses coming towards me from a rehearsal. It is so difficult quickly to become familiar with the beauty of three women when in addition you also want to look at two actors who are approaching behind them with that too-swinging actors’ walk. The two — of whom the one on the left, with his fat, youthful face and open overcoat wrapped around his strong body, is representative enough of both — overtake the ladies, the one on the left on the pavement, the one on the right down in the roadway. The one on the left grasps his hat high up near the top, seizes it with all five fingers, raises it high and calls (the one on the right recollects himself only now): Good-bye! Good night! But while this overtaking and greeting has separated the gentlemen, the ladies addressed, as though led by the one nearest the roadway who seems to be the weakest and tallest but also the youngest and most beautiful, continue on their way quite undisturbed, with an easy greeting which scarcely interrupts their harmonious conversation. The whole thing seemed to me at the moment to be strong proof that theatrical affairs here are orderly and well conducted.

… At times (at the moment the consciousness of this pierced me) we did not interfere in the plot only because we were too moved, not because we were mere spectators.


The story: A hero saves a girl who is lost in the desert (‘I pray thee, great, almighty God’) and because of the torments of thirst has thrown herself into a well. They swear to be true to each other (‘My dear one, my loved one, my diamond found in the desert’) by calling upon the well and a red-eyed desert cat in witness.… By means of despairing outbursts she gains a confidence prepared for anything and determines to feign insanity in order not to have to marry and to be able to wait. ‘My will is of iron, my heart I make a fortress.’ And even in the insanity which she now feigns for years she enjoys sadly and aloud all her memories of her lover, for her insanity is concerned only with the desert, the well, and the cat.


Does youth therefore end at the tip of the nose and death begin there? The swallowing of the passengers that glides down their throats, the widening of their mouths as a sign that in their judgement the railway journey, the combination of the other passengers, their seating arrangements, the temperature in the carriage, even the copy of Pan that I hold on my knees and that several glance at from time to time (as it is after all something that they would not have expected in the compartment), are harmless, natural, unsuspicious, while at the same time they still believe that everything could have been much worse.


Napoleon is reminiscing at the royal table in Erfurt: When I was still a mere lieutenant in the Fifth Regiment … (the royal highnesses look at each other in embarrassment, Napoleon notices it and corrects himself), when I still had the honour to be a mere lieutenant … When I think of this anecdote the arteries in my neck swell with the pride that I can easily feel with him and that vicariously thrills through me.


Again in Radotin: freezing, I then walked around alone in the garden, then recognized in an open window the children’s nurse who had walked to this side of the house with me.


How easily you become for the moment a little part of your own tremendous notion of Napoleon!


I am probably sick, since yesterday my body has been itching all over. In the afternoon my face was so hot and blotched that I was afraid the assistant giving me a haircut, who could see me and my reflected image all the time, would recognize that I had a serious disease. Also the connexion between stomach and mouth is partly disturbed, a lid the size of a gulden moves up or down, or stays down below from where it exerts an expanding effect of light pressure that spreads upward over my chest.

More on Radotin: Invited her to come down. The first answer was serious although until then, together with the girl entrusted to her, she had giggled and flirted across at me in a way she would never have dared from the moment we became acquainted. We then laughed a great deal together although I was freezing down below and she up above at the open window. She pressed her breasts against her crossed arms and, her knees apparently bent, pressed her whole body against the window sill. She was seventeen years old and took me to be fifteen or sixteen. I couldn’t make her change her mind throughout our entire conversation. Her small nose was a little crooked and threw an unusual shadow across her cheek, which, to be sure, wouldn’t help me to recognize her again. She was from Radotin but from Chuchle (the next station on the way to Prague), which she wouldn’t let me forget.

… A clear moon over a large field, the chimney smoke looking like clouds in the light; the field, right in the middle of town, bough up as a precaution by a factory but left unused for the time being, surrounded by factory buildings which were strongly but only partly lit up by electric lights. Train signals. Scuffling of rats near the path worn across the field by the townspeople in defiance of the will of the factory.


Yesterday evening I simultaneously held out both my hands to my two sisters-in-law on Mariengasse with a degree of adroitness as if they were two right hands and I a double person.


I until the day after tomorrow.


In the Crystal Palace in Leipzig it was magnificent. Windows you could open, the sun shone in, you needed a throne in the play, good, there was a throne, I walked towards it through the crowd and was really a king. It is much easier to act there. Here everything confuses you.


24 October. Mother works all day, is merry and sad as the fancy strikes her, without taking advantage of her own condition in the slightest, her voice is clear, too loud for ordinary speech but does you good when you are sad and suddenly hear it after some time.


Lemech is unfortunately ‘an idiot’, for that is something that cannot be hushed up.


Custom, immediately after awakening, to dip the fingers three times in water, as the evil spirits have settled during the night on the second and third joints of the fingers. Rationalist explanation: To prevent the fingers directly touching the face, since, uncontrolled during sleep and dreams, they could after all have touched every possible part of the body, the armpits, the behind, the genitals.


Superstition: The evil spirits gain entry into a person who drinks out of an imperfect glass.


And yet the best drama is that which is the most stimulating in time and space, frees itself of all the demands of life, limits itself only to the speeches, to the thoughts in the monologues, to the main points of what happens; everything else is left to stimulation that has been aroused, and, raised high on a shield born by the actors, painters, directors, obeys only its most extreme inspirations.


The sight of stairs moves me so today. Early in the day already, and several times since, I have enjoyed the sight from my window of the triangular piece cut out of the stone railing of the staircase that leads down on the right from the Czech Bridge to the quay level. Very steep, as though it were giving only a hasty suggestion. And now, over there across the river, I see a step-ladder on the slope that leads down to the water. It has always been there, but is revealed only in the autumn and winter by the removal of the school in front of it, and it lies there in the dark grass under the brown trees in the play of perspectives.


31 October. Despite the fact that today I have read here and there in the Fischer catalogue, in the Insel Almanach, in the Rundschau, I am now pretty sure that, whether I have assimilated everything either thoroughly or casually, I have in any case defended myself against all harm. And I should have enough self-confidence tonight if I didn’t have to go out with Löwy again.


—Franz Kafka from diaries 1910-1923, edited by Max Brod.








Verdi - Nabucco - Va, pensiero (Chorus of Hebrew Slaves) 5:28 7 5/6/06 10:23 AM
Friday, May 5th, 2006
5:03 pm
[brthrn]
entry I. Would. Do. Anything.
Oh, why do you, the daughter of a king,
burn for a stranger? Why, why must you dream
of wedding one whose world is alien?



“… I don’t abandon great things; I sail toward
greatness: I’ll gain much fame for having saved
the young Achaeans; I shall learn the ways
and manners of a better land than mine,
of cities whose renown has reached these shores,
of countries known for culture and the arts;
and I shall gain the man I’d not exchange
for all the gold the world may hold: the son
of Aeson. As his wife I shall be known
as the most blessed of women, whom the gods
most cherish; I shall touch the very stars!”



He swore by the holy mysteries
of Hecate—the triform goddess he
supposed was in that grove—and by the Sun,
who sees all things, the father of the one
now destined to become his father-in-law—
and by his triumphs over such great dangers.
His oath convinced her: she believed the stranger.



… You, stranger—
Medea—would embrace the victor, too,
but are restrained by modesty, although
that would in truth have been no curb to you—
it was your public name that held you back.
But you’re allowed your secret joy; you watch
in silence, thanking magic and the gods
who are the source of those compelling arts.



… Nine days, nine nights
had seen Medea travel: driven by
winged dragons, she had searched through every land.
That done, the sorceress came home again.
And though those herbs had touched no dragon, just
the odor was enough: the dragons sloughed
their aged skin—they were renewed, transformed.



Now, left alone, Medea—with her hair
disheveled, like a bacchant—round the pair
of blazing altars, circles; and she soaks
the many-headed torches that she grips
in the dark blood of sacrificial pits
and, at the altar fires, lights these brands.
Then she proceeds to purify the body
of the old king: three times with fire, three
with water, and three times with sulfur, she
cleanses his flesh of all impurities.

Meanwhile a potent potion boils and seethes
and foams within a brazen pot, for she
is now concocting roots that she had plucked
in a Thessalian valley, brewing these
with the most pungent juices, flowers, and seeds.
To these, she’s added stones from the far East,
and sands the Ocean washed up on the beach,
and hoarfrost gathered when the moon was full;
and filthy wings—flesh still attached—of screech-owls;
together with the guts of a werewolf,
which has the power to change its savage snout
and show a human face. Nor was that brew
without the liver of a long-lived stag,
the thin and scaly skin of Libyan snakes,
and—added to all these—the head and beak
of a crow whose life spanned nine full centuries.

When the barbarian sorceress—with these
as well as countless other nameless things…



“I’d have you gain still greater confidence
in what I want to do—my gift to you:
my potions will transform your oldest ram,
the leader of your sheep, into a lamb.”



Three times the sun had loosed
its steeds into the Spanish sea, and stars
had plunged into the waves of Ebro’s stream.
On that fourth night, the stars were glittering
when the deceptive daughter of Aeëtes
began to boil a caldron of fresh water
to which she added herbs that had no power.



At long last, borne upon her dragons’ wings,
Medea came to Corinth’s sacred spring.
Here, when the world was born—so we are told
by ancient legends—mortal bodies sprang
from mushrooms risen in the wake of rain.



“Would I tell you of the end without
recounting the beginning! But I speak
directly—bones and ashes, corpses, these
are what became of those your memory seeks!

“… To start, thick darkness fell upon the earth;
beneath the mantle of the clouds, the heat
was stifling; when the waxing moon had reached
its full orb, joining horns for the fourth time,
then, thinning, had undone its fourth full orb,
the torrid south-wind breathed its lethal breath.
The pestilence infected lakes and springs;
and—thousands upon thousands—serpents swarmed
across the untilled fields, contaminating
our streams with poison.”



“You could have seen the half-dead roam the streets
as long as they could stand, while those too weak
lay stretched along the ground; there they would weep;
their straining eyes looked up—a final plea—
their arms stretched toward the sky; and then they breathed
their last beneath the hanging heaven’s shroud—
here, there—wherever death had found them out.



“And at the sanctuary’s doors I saw
abandoned corpses; and along the altars,
to render death more hateful, some had used
a noose to end their lives: with death they drive
away their fear of death—it would arrive
in any case, but they would have it haste.… “



“…’Come see a thing
beyond all hope and all imagining!
O Father, follow me!’…”



“… We ringed the fields with nets to trap the fox,
but she leaped over them—across the top.
Then we unleashed our hounds to track her down,
but she—swift as a bird—outraced the pack.…”



“… For even if she could have wedded Jove,
she would have chosen me as her dear love;
as for my heart, no other woman could
have tempted me—not even Venus’ self;
in our two hearts there burned one equal flame.



“…’You are my chief delight; you comfort me,
refresh me; it’s because of you I love
the woods, the solitary glades; my lips
are never weary of your gentle breath.’… “



These were the things that, even as he wept,
the hero called to mind. The others shed
their share of tears. Just then King Aeacus,
with his two other sons and the fresh ranks
of soldiers they had mobilized, came in.
And Cephalus received those well-armed men.


—from The Metamorphoses of Ovid: a new verse translation by Allen Mandelbaum.







Why Not Smile 4:02 R.E.M. Up Rock 79 4/29/06 7:44 AM
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